Eagles - Lions Takeaways

Just A Wee Spot Of Weather

> From the first televised moment of this game, we all knew it was going to be a fun travesty

> Lions QB Matthew Stafford tries a deep ball, and that just looked silly in the early going

> Stafford fumbles on second down, and we're just one more play from a Weather Three and Out

> RB Joique Bell with the screen and stop, and that's that

> Pitch to Jackson and the Lions are all over it for a big loss; DJ looks really bad in this stuff

> RB LeSean McCoy for a give up on third and long, but at least it looked good

> P Donnie Jones with a weak punt, and this weather is going to make that stuff look bad, too

> Awesome tech from Fox to show yard lines despite the weather

> Stafford's second fumble of the day sets up a third and long, but WR Calvin Johnson converts as the secondary can't close fast enough for the stop

> Even the chain measurements can't get it done in this slop

> Bell gets to the outside and converts another one, and the Lions have been better in the trenches in a game where that's the only thing that matters

> Stafford's third fumble in half a quarter, but the Lions have gotten them all back

> Time of possession flag gives Detroit another shot at third and long, and TE Brandon Petitgrew slips LB Mychal Kendricks for a huge first down

> Bell with a great run, but fumbles at the close, and whatever is ruled on the field is going to be upheld today

> That's Detroit's fourth fumble in 9.5 minutes, and the first that they don't recover

> Referee Ed Hochuli sounds disgusted by the idea of replay

> McCoy goes sideways and down, and that's not working today

> Third and long is Foles to WR Riley Cooper, who doesn't get the ball or flag

> Jones gets off a 53-yard punt, which is downright heroic

> I know that many people are going to be like gee, wow, snow, but this is actually kind of dull so far

> Bell for multiple good runs, but HC Jim Schwartz loses patience, and Stafford misses an open WR Nate Burleson

> Third and long and Johnson is open deep on CB Cary Williams for a deadly deep ball

> Johnson got whitewashed at the close of that throw, which is fun and all I guess

> Third and long again at the 10, and it's a give up draw to Bell with another fumble

> Great play by LBs Connor Barwin and Brandon Graham to go right after the ball there

> S Patrick Chung with the recovery, and we may have finally found an element he can play in

> The snow made this the first game ever televised in Philadelphia without footage of cheese steaks being made

> Foles misses Jackson in double coverage, and the offense looks utterly out of sorts in this stuff

> Cooper can't make a play, and the lack of separation from the CB was telling

> Jones with another solid punt, and he's been their only offensive weapon so far

> RB Theo Riddick in for Bell and goes nowhere

> Stafford's fourth fumble of the day ends in a deflection by LB Trent Cole

> Third and long with the defense needing a stop, and TE During Dickerson can't catch a jump ball because he's not Megatron

> Weak kick by P Sam Martin gives the offense good field position for the first time today

> DJ looked like he wanted to return the dead punt, but did not get a chance due to the refs not wanting any further shenanigans

> Foles picks a bad time for his first INT of the year, as he misses a man badly; CB Chris Houston with the 30-yard return puts Detroit at the Eagle 20

> Bell back in, then out again due to a lost shoe

> Detoit gives up a 29-yard field goal try, and Bell makes it pay off with a screen win on third

> Bell with the run up the middle and scores, and that seemed like all that would be necessary for a long time

> The Lions go for 2 and make it off a tipped ball to Bell, signalling the end of all kickers

> Detroit 8, Philadelphia 0 with 40 minutes left for the snow to stop

> McCoy for 8 yards on the first play today where the offense looked OK

> Another give to McCoy, and that's an actual first down

> Detroit starting to really cheat the line, especially on the short snap counts

> Foles fumbles from the gun and gets leveled, and that's probably the end of the drive right there

> RB Bryce Brown for the give up third down, and Green has 8 yards on 4 drives

> Jones with a weak punt, and Detroit has the ball at their own 41

> Three and out for Detroit as Kendricks gets a good break and near pick

> Martin with a better effort, and Green will have it at their own 11

> McCoy for 14 as the line actually gives him some space, then another 7 as Hope Enters The Consciousness

> McCoy for 8 of shiftiness, but RB Chris Polk can't go anywhere, and it's second and long

> Polk for 9 on a good delay execution

> Third and 1 is an offside and first down by DT Nick Fairley, with DT Ndamonkung Suh taking the opportunity to be an unpenalized dirtbag

> Foles to Jackson for a good sideline out for 17, with the WR doing nice work with the feet

> DJ with a good gain and takes a late hit for no reason

> Fairley stones McCoy and that was wrestling heel-ish

> Foley tries Cooper in the end zone, but Mathis makes another big play to stop it

> Screen to Cooper is fairly conservative if you don't think you can make a field goal in this weather

> Fourth and 7 from the 10, and Cooper can't get a ball in the end zone; catchable ball, but again, no separation; that would have been a hell of an escape from the half

> Detroit runs from the gun, which seems dangerous

> The Eagles call time out twice while dreaming of fumbles, but Stafford does not oblige, and that's the half

> Field not plowed at the half, so this isn't looking promising

> Foles from the gun to start, and Cooper can't catch another one; he's been especially ineffective today

> Foles for 4 yards and a whitewash, but McCoy is surprisingly quick on a pull play for the first down

> Suh tries to rip McCoy in half, and that's a problem

> Foles gets rid of a play, and Suh gets away with another borderline cheap shot to the jaw

> Foles misses TE Zach Ertz by a mile, and he's now 4 of 12 for 35 with a pick today

> Jones with a solid effort, but they're going to need a lot more than punting

> Two runs by Bell for 8, then he's wide open in the flat to convert on third down

> Out of bounds is mostly theoretical today

> Riddick for solid yardage, and we're not far away from Garbage Time now

> Schwartz showing impatience, with Durham dropping a pointless screen

> Third and 6 is an odd give up run, but field position might matter more than anything else

> DJ fair catches at the 11

> McCoy loses six as he does not get the earlier memo of how that's not working today

> McCoy for 11 up the middle as the line continues erratic play

> Brown stuffed on a safety blitz because, well, it's not like there is any threat from the passing game

> Punt return TD by Jeremy Ross looks like it should end the game and season with 21 minutes left

> Stafford misses TE Joseph Fauria on a pointless fade route, and it's 14-0 Detroit

> Foles to McCoy out wide for a few, and at this point, I'm just looking for pride

> McCoy stoned for no gain, and then encroachment is flipped into an offensive flag, and yeesh, that's pretty endy

> Third an 11 is an out to Jackson for a conversion, and surprising

> Foles to Cooper for a deep ball that's like a thunderbol

> Great play by the WR to change the pattern, and a shocking development given how bad Cooper has been today

> Foles to DJ for a 20-yard score, questioned because of end line proximity, but nothing is getting overturned today

> Hard to see how that ball was meant for Jackson, but accidental offense is better than none

> Foles is low to McCoy, so the conversion is stopped, making the score 14-6 Detroit

> Henery with a poor kickoff, and Ross gets it out to the 28, which matters

> Stafford from the gun to Johnson for 9, and he's still terrifyingly good

> Bell stopped on second down by DE Vinny Curry, who is situationally awesome

> Third and 1 from the gun is converted to Burleson, as Stafford is looking as comfortable as you can be in this mess

> Stafford for two on a coverage quasi-sack

> Tipped by DT Fletcher Cox stops the drive, and that helps

> Foles to Cooper for 25 on sharp execution of a scramble and near pick, and at the end of three quarters, some hope

> Foles misses DJ deep, but Detroit takes 15 on a borderline roughing the passer flag, as Green is riding the Ref Karma Wave

> Foles tries DJ in the end zone again, but double coverage gets there just in time

> With the threat of the deep ball alive, McCoy gets free and keeps his footing for a downright thrilling 40-yard TD and wow, that was all kinds of great

> Brown in for McCoy on the 2-pointer, so Foles tries Ertz on a fade; it does not work, but Detroit is flagged for a phantom hold on Suh that I have to assume was the wrong number said by Hochuli

> From the 1 with Brown still in, DJ draws men with the end-around, and the RB blasts through a huge hole for the tie

> 14-14 with 14:30 left, and regardless of the weather, this offense is boom-bust

> Massive ST fail for the second time today, as Ross scores on a 98-yard kickoff return, and ye gads, that's just soul-crushing

> 2 point conversion fail with movement inspires Schwartz to try Akers, and it costs him a timeout as well as the Lions clear the kicking area

> The extra point is blocked by DT Bennie Logan, and CB Bradley Fletcher goes the distance for no reason, but a missed PAT is still helpful

> Detroit now with 197 return yards, 204 on offense

> CB/KR Brandon Boykin gets it back to the 24

> McCoy for 6, then WR Brad Smith gets a first and no flag for a clear late hit

> McCoy for 57 right up the gut, and the last 4 minutes of football has no relation to the previous 40

> WR Jason Avant blocked two defenders on that play, somehow

> Foles to Cooper for a great catch and 2-point conversion, and for the first time today, the Eagles lead

> Henery with the pooch kick, Eagle Fan cheers with sarcasm, and Riddick gets it back to the Lions 31

> Stafford pressured by Kendricks, and that was porny for the incomplete

> Stafford misses Johnson deep, with both him and Williams on skates back there

> Third and 10 is huge and loud, with Stafford to Bell for the screen and convert, but it's coming back on ineligible man downfield

> Another big flag against Blue

> Pressure from a 3-man rush leads to an incomplete, and that was a huge series from the defense

> DJ goes nowhere as Ross takes him down and nearly forced a fumble, and that dude is having a week

> McCoy for 26 that was video game-ish, and maybe that explains this game -- Shady accessed a cheat code

> Foles for 20 of the funniest, slowest yards you'll ever see

> Brown for 17 and this is just kind of amazing

> A little Detention Offense, with McCoy getting four, setting a new career high

> Suh with the offsides to make things easier after long conversation, with Hochuli defending the earlier offside overturned call

> McCoy to the 1 on second down, with Hochuli asking for delay to clear the goal line

> McCoy stopped, setting up a massive fourth down call

> Foles with the sneak from a hurried snap, and man alive, I love Chip Kelly's play call there

> Massive 2-point try is missed to DJ, and football is fascinating without kickers

> Mystifying kick to Ross, who gets it all the way to the Lions 48

> Stafford to Bell, who vaults S Nate Allen for 28, and this game just keeps changing

> Stafford's fifth fumble of the day finally results in a turnover, as the QB had no idea when the ball was coming; he compounded the error with trying to make a play after the initial fumble

> Just an unreal mistake, but that's what that guy does

> McCoy for 4 as we go to Detention Offense

> Offsides from Detroit is another killer flag, and man alive, does this team give you outs

> New Eagles record for McCoy, taking down Steve Van Buren, and what a run of RBs we've had in this town, from Duce Staley to Brian Westbrook to McCoy

> Detention, then McCoy for the first, barely

> McCoy for 9 where he leaves the defender clutching air, which makes the crowd chant Shady, Shady, and why not

> Polk for the first, then a killshot TD run up the gut for 38, and Detroit no longer wants to be here

> Best quarter of the year, and maybe decades, by the offensive line

> Polk stopped on the try for two, and with 3 minutes left, it's 34-20 Green and still a game

> STs keep up the weakness, with Dickerson getting it back to the Lions 35

> Petitgrew drops a ball, and that's what he does, too

> Burleson drops a ball, and that's what he does, too

> Bell drops a ball, and, um, oh, Detroit

> On fourth and killshot, it's a tipped ball for the incomplete by Ryans, and that should be the End of Drama

> Brown for three carries with no turnovers, which is all they were hoping for, seemingly

> Fourth and 12, Kelly goes for it to seemingly avoid the possibility of a punt return or miss, with Foles hitting Celek for the wide open screen

> Celek with the Westbrook Celebration Touchdown Give Up Slide, rather than score, and looked as kid-happy as possible doing it

> Your final is Eagles 34, Lions 20, and the team is now 8-5, in first place in the division (again), and might even have a shot at a wildcard

> I can't remember a game where the offense was so bad for so long, then completely and ridiculously unstoppable

> We're well into the What A Fun Year Gravy Stage with this team