Top 10 reasons why Grant Hill is retiring

I've seen this look at the Y

10) Just can't see playing in an NBA where Vinny del Negro is not his coach

9) Like Steve Nash before him, once he left the Phoenix medical staff, aged a thousand years in seconds

8) Having already played for nine years after a career-ending injury, going for 10 just seems showy

7) Like all Duke guys in their 50s, needs to work on his mid-life crisis while systematically trying to ruin the lives of North Carolina grads

6) Fulfilling a contract you sign with Donald Sterling is just kind of soul-crushing

5) Needed to retire so that someone else could win the league's sportsmanship award

4) Was co-Rookie of the Year with Jason Kidd, which means, um, good God, he's unfathomably old

3) Tired of having all of his coaches call him "Sir", "Our Coach on the Floor" and "Grandpa"

2) Knows that he's never going to be able to achieve another franchise-crushing experience like what he was able to pull off on Orlando

1) Has decided to answer the prayers of a desperate nation and take over for Shaquille O'Neal on "Inside the NBA"