Top 10 reasons why the Patriots signed Tim Tebow

How about No Back?

10) The NBA Finals were having an off-day, and ESPN called in a favor

9) Finally gives the team that all-important outreach to heartland fans and social conservatives, beyond the team name and grating self-righteousness

8) Coach Bill Belichick is a master motivator and really wanted to get the confidence of his team's secondary up

7) Gives the team the critical insight it needs to stop that juggernaut Jet offense

6) Want to make sure that Tebow has a job in the NFL longer than Rex Ryan, so he's totally a lock for that 90-day lease

5) Punt team just wasn't explosive enough

4) Tom Brady needed a good laugh, and someone strong to carry his bags

3) New England doesn't have tabloids or a strong media presence

2) Josh McDaniel cried and cried and cried, and totally promised he'd feed and water and walk him

1) Um, it's a mid-June signing of a guy who may or may not make a final roster, so let's not set the Internets on fire here