Top 10 reasons why Pac Man Jones Will Speak, Again, At The NFL Rookie Symposium

If It's Tuesday, He's Under Arrest

10) The little-known concept of proactive community service, or building up a bank

9) Best way to remind everyone that he's somehow still alive and in the league

8) Has so much to share with young guys about how to keep the stripper trip and Rain Event economical

7) Doesn't remember doing this last year, and won't remember doing it this year

6) Has to fill those tedious minutes every day when he's not in jail, in court, or locked down under curfew

5) It's going to be in Aurora, OH, which is not Cincinnati, so, hey, maybe he's not that big of an idiot after all

4) It's a little known fact that no NFL rookies got in trouble last year, all due to Pac Man's sterling example

3) Troy Vincent is the NFL's vice president of player engagement, and a notorious practical joker

2) Maurice Clarett needed a wingman, and OJ Simpson and Rae Carruth were not available

1) Jones is setting up his resume for the spectacular Act 2 of his American life, where he becomes the most celebrated and cerebral head coach of his generation