Top 10 consolations for Boston / Bruin Fan

It's OK, we'll burn it all

10) You really do have a lot of experience in processing this sort of thing

9) There weren't going to be any more Bruins home games anyway

8) By choking big late, you avoided that long and tense overtime choke

7) Perhaps now you'll learn the important lesson of not chanting "We Want The Cup" with an insurmountable 1-goal lead

6) With this epic fail, you made many people who do not care at all about hockey achieve a solid moment of joy

5) Let's face it, after having to root for their third-string basketball players, the Cubs, White Sox and Jay Cutler, Chicago Fan had well and truly earned this

4) Unhinged superstitious Bruin Fan won't be tempted to ruin the Marathon every year to give the team inspiration

3) You can blame this on Jaromir Jagr, and continue your lifelong pattern of pretty much hating that guy

2) Winning your second Cup in three years would have just filled your stadium with hateful front-runners who desperately need to be grabbed by their ankles and swung like a sledgehammer into a brick wall, over and over again, until that hateful bleating accent is forever si... perhaps I've said too much

1) Your remarkable resilience means that no one is going to milk this failure for unbearable attempts at Literature for decades to come