Top 10 reasons why the Lions signed David Akers

38 Years Shanky

10) Really want to make sure they are in big enough games where a missed field goal matters

9) Jason Hanson is retiring, and the team wasn't comfortable with any of those young whipper snappers

8) Akers made 29 of 44 last year, so he clearly got all of his misses out of his system

7) Will truly confuse all of the Thanksgiving only pro football viewers who have come to count on Hanson as the only constant in a terrifying world of change

6) Team has an unnatural attraction to ex-Berlin Thunder players

5) Are hoping that he can teach Ndamukong Suh some ju-jitsu, so that he next kicking incident does some real damage

4) Akers were 3 for 3 in the Super Bowl, so clearly everything's fine now

3) Figure that since they play half of their games indoor, and kickoffs start at the 40, it doesn't really matter if anybody can put the ball deep

2) Noticed how many jerseys he sold in Philadelphia, and want the same bump

1) Wanted to make sure that the fan base understands just how good Hanson was