Top 10 reasons why Doug Collins is resigning

I've Had It Up To Here

10) If he hangs out with Lavoy Allen much longer, he's probably going to strangle him with his bare hands

9) Ownership isn't quite eye to eye with his plan to give Damian Wilkins the second-most minutes on the team

8) It's the only way to ensure, short of being a Sixers season ticket holder, that you don't have to spend any time in the presence of Andrew Bynum

7) Wants to spend more time with his family, especially those members who no longer have time to spend with him

6) Giving up $4.5 million to gain a year of your life back, at his advanced age, probably doesn't seem like that bad of a deal

5) Is pretty sure that he's taught Kwame Brown everything he's capable of knowing

4) If he hangs out with Spencer Hawes much longer, might start to agree with him

3) Somehow doesn't see a franchise that traded away its best player, prospect and big man for air getting much better very soon

2) Hears the siren call of TNT playoff coverage, and the deep desire to lecture America on the need to finish quarters strong

1) Gives him the ability to go to another downtrodden franchise, get them back to short-term respectability, then fade into mediocrity