Top 10 takeaways from Milton Bradley's legal woes

We never saw this coming

10) Shockingly, Bradley might be having a hard time adjusting to life after baseball

9) In his defense, you really have to be good at abuse to face 13 misdemeanor counts and up to 13 years in jail

8) Bradley and his ex have two kids, who are sure to turn out swell after this role modeling

7) You will be forgiven you wondering how he wasn't already in jail

6) Trading Andre Ethier for him wasn't exactly one of Billy Beane's more movie-ready moves

5) Bradley claims his ex is just making up stuff to ruin his good name, much like the dozens of MLB personnel he has personal interaction with

4) Luckily for Bradley, his crimes haven't included pharmaceuticals, so he's still in the conversation for the Hall of Fame

3) If convicted, Bradley faces up to $13K in fines, which seems like chump change to someone who played MLB for 11 years, but one suspects that he might not have managed his money all that well...

2) Bradley says that his ex is making all of this up, but as he was arrested twice at the home in 2011, maybe not so much

1) If he were left handed and could pitch, or was still raking, none of this would matter