Top 10 takeaways from Tigers - Giants Game One

Panda Three Times, Baby, I'm Gonna Eat

10) Since the Giants beat Justin Verlander with Barry Zito. it's pretty obvious that the series is over, and that the rest of America isn't gay-friendly enough to be very good at baseball

9) Zito got a hit and drove in a run off Verlander, who somehow did not kill himself immediately afterward

8) Tonight's start, combined with last week's effort in St. Louis, shows that Zito's been underpaid for all of these years, and is clearly bound for Cooperstown

7) By the fifth inning of Game One, the Giants had scored more runs against the Tigers than the Yankees did in the four games of the ALCS, which I mention just to deepen the pain that Theoretically Still Watching Baseball Yankee Fan is feeling

6) Three Giants hit three home runs at home this year -- not in a game, but all year -- which means that they were clearly saving them up for when it was, you know, important

5) The idea that Zito and Marco Scutaro are now gritty playoff veterans that make their team win, rather than jittery pups who make them lose, just deepens the pain for Theoretically Not Suicidally Depressed A's Fan

4) The singing of "God Bless America" by a cop from the Tenderloin (so butch), who doesn't even love America enough to remove his hat, sure prompted a lot of spitting

3) As soon as you saw Jose Valverde in this game, you could safely assume that Jim Leyland just wanted to see if the Giants could tire themselves out for the rest of the series by running the bases

2) Jhonny Peralta hit a 2-run homer in the ninth just to prove that the Tiger offense did, in fact, have the opportunity to score runs in this one

1) Pablo Sandoval hit three home runs, which is kind of a big deal when you do it in a World Series game, though not nearly as big of a deal if you do it while wearing a Yankee uniform