Top 10 takeaways from the Chad Johnson - Evelyn Lozada Divorce

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10) If these two stable people can't make it work, there's really no hope for the rest of us

9) To be fair, Lozada gave Chad 41 of the better days of her life

8) Getting head-butted (allegedly) by your spouse is a lot easier to take if he can actually keep a job

7) Chad says he still loves her very much and has no negative words to say about her, as if the words were the issue here

6) If Lozada takes Johnson for half of everything he owns, it might be a net loss

5) If only VH1 had agreed to keep "Ev & Ocho" on the air, they would have stayed together and lived happily ever after

4) After Antoine Walker and the Chad, Lozada is ready to settle down with an athlete with a more stable bank account

3) Looking on the bright side of things, this must be one wildly entertaining pre-nup

2) According to the wire reports, Lozada has a history of violence against reality show castmates, which is to say, other wildly regrettable human freak shows

1) If you are wondering just how we've sank so low in this country that either of these people are considered celebrities, you are far from alone