Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Top 10 reasons why Roger Goodell is fine with scab refs

10) Just gets him one step closer to having every decision made by instant replay

9) Without playing hardball with the refs, the league is sure to fold from not making enough money

8) Knows that if he just holds out long enough, the regular refs won't be able to hold out, seeing as how they are all hooked on meth

7) As Bountygate shows, he's just, oh, a wee bit utterly mad with unchecked power and venality

6) Thinks that the best way to improve player safety is to bring in a much of clueless middle-aged guys to run around in the middle of their game

5) Believes that the current refs, with their decades of experience in dealing with intense media and player scrutiny, clearly aren't any better than noobs

4) If you are a sports league commish and don't engage in union-busting activities, all of the other czars laugh at you

3) Understands that real football fans want old-school violence and hitting, which is to say, they want refs who don't have any idea what the current pussy-footed NFL rules are

2) They are only working preseason games to start, which means they are only working the biggest rip-off in American sports

1) Convinced that now that the players truly understand his power, penalties will cease to exist, since they will honor all rules rather than risk his ire

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