Top 10 reasons why Larry Bird is leaving the Pacers

10) Kind of doubts the team is going to get tougher just because he said so

9) Being so much better at his job than Isiah Thomas kind of gets old after a few decades

8) Just realized that his team's best player is, in fact, Danny Freaking Granger

7) Tired of having to brown-bag his lunch, like every other GM of a small market team

6) Knows that after you've been named executive of the year, you've got about 18 months before the pink slip

5) Would rather devote his energy to buying another team, since that's a better way to humiliate Michael Jordan

4) Understands that no matter how well he keeps up appearances, he'll never be sexier than Donnie Walsh to them

3) Never really got over having to move that adorable Ron Artest fellow

2) Wants to be sure he's going out on, well, kind of somewhere in the middle, I guess

1) Secretly really, really hates living in Indiana, and everyone who lives there