Top Ten Reasons Why Kevin Garnett Is Thinking About Retirement

10) Since he skipped college and has played in a bunch of playoff games, he's actually 73 years old

9) Keeps getting called for fouls he totally did not commit, and his conscience just can not abide it

8) These young'uns keep failing to show him the proper deference and respect when he elbows them in the groin

7) If you had to hang out with, and defend the action of, Rajon Rondo, you'd think about quitting too

6) If he doesn't think really hard and make the Celtics really worried about this, the Magic Money Fairy won't appear

5) Somehow isn't seeing how a playoff run next year at age 37 will go much better than the playoff run this year at age 36

4) Has already achieved everything he's set out to in the game, in that he's made everyone who doesn't root for the Celtics forget about his game in disgust over his personality

3) It's a fairly esoteric form of protest over Paul Pierce's foul troubles in the playoffs

2) Wants to get to the next chapter in his life, where he teaches disadvantaged kids how to trash talk and take cheap shots

1) Really wants to go out on middle