Top 10 reasons why the NFL won't discipline Michael Vick

10) Boys will be dog-killers, potential conspirators to murder, and liars

9) In all seriousness, Vick cried, which made it all better

8) The NFL, as any objective Philly Fan will tell you at length, really hates the Eagles, so they want to make sure they are exposed to as much Vick as possible

7) The NFL feels that if Vick just spends more time in the warm parental embrace of Andy Reid, everything will work out fine

6) In a similar vein, anyone that is exposed to a lot of time with the life-affirming Christian conservative world of Tony Dungy will wind up healthy, well-adjusted, and in no way suicidal

5) If we suspend everyone in the NFL who had people killed for his 30th birthday, we won't have anyone left to own a team

4) Vick now knows that he's on his fifth last chance, which means he'll be extra special good

3) Philadelphia talk radio really needed Vick on the roster, so that they can pule for him as soon as Kevin Kolb isn't perfect

2) All part of the vast NFL conspiracy to deny QB jobs to the white man

1) Goodell really just didn't want to get on Vick's bad side