Thursday, November 5, 2009

Top 10 questions from the Tim Lincecum pot bust

When life gives you a Pothead Cy Young winner, you make Pothead Cy Young winner list lemonade. Or brownies. Mmmm, brownies.

10) How could he be so careless... to not have a medical permit?

9) Will part of his inevitable rehab involve getting a grown up haircut?

8) Why is he such a prima donna as to use a pipe, instead of rolling his own?

7) On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being skunk weed and 10 being prime Acapulco, how good was his weed?

6) How will the Giants ever recover from the PR hit of their biggest star abusing illegal drugs?

5) Given that Lincecum is 40-17 with a 2.90 ERA for his career, why is marijuana (a) not legal, and (b) not mandatory?

4) Are his mechanics with the pipe unorthodox?

3) Do the nation's old uptight sportswriters still care enough about pot to make a big deal of this?

2) Isn't 3.3 grams of weed and 14 mph over the speed limit almost PG-rated at this stage in Athlete Naughtiness?

1) Did Lincecum just ensure that he'll have the #1 selling MLB jersey for the holiday season?

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