Wanted: Human Punching Bag

Are you ready to not just read FTT, but to feel personally humiliated by it?

Then act now and join the Official Fantasy League of FTT!

Here's what you'll get for just $20, payable at the end of the year:

> Highly personalized insults
> The possibility of vic... no, sorry, have to tell the truth here
> A chance to tell your kids about this later
> FTT's autograph (on the back of your check, after the bank returns it to you)
> The ability to join the Whipped By DMtShooter Club (hundreds strong and growing; it's kind of like AA)

Spots are filling up fast and are very limited, so post in the comments why you deserve a shot. To quote www.askaninja.com, I look forward to killing you soon!