It's MLB picture day over at the Sports Hernia. The Brewers going all emo does not bode well for their chances, I think.
Today's Moment of Blasphemy from the Onion is particularly trenchant, especially if you're wearing those shoes.
Major League Jerk is starting a fantasy baseball league against their commenters, and the winner gets a shirt. The FTT lawyers will be in touch, since that's so our move.
Epic Carnival ran a sports story? Kind of? I need to encourage that. Besides, there's NSFW Unit Hate. Or that this is one of those memes the Internet kids are into these days.
Three quick points that, as the lead guy of a wildly unpopular blog, you will not care about...
1) Garments of Greatness, aka the Five Tool Tool T-Shirt, are not just available to winners of playoff prediction pools. (And yes, yes, yes, I boned it by not setting one up for the NFL playoffs.) They are also available via a $10 site donation via the PayPal button on this very site. That even includes the shipping. All I ask is that you pay with a debit card, so that I don't take a total loss, and give me your address and preferred shirt size (M, L, XL).
And remember, the guys get shirts!
2) In a similar naked move to separate you from your PayPal dollars, anyone who donates $1 or more to the site will get their choice of one of my four e-books, because, well, I've written 'em, and you might like them. (None of them are about sports, sadly. But some of 'em have sex, violence, politics and, well, travel. You make with the money, I'll make with the words.) This also includes anyone who buys a shirt, assuming you want the PDF.
3) Some of y'all have wondered if we could make the Football Live Blogging more interactive, and wonder of wonders, I've listened. (Shocking!)
So if you like them the way they are, holler. If you'd rather see something new that will be more like a poorly attended group IM window, you should also say so. After all, you are the reason why this is one of the least popular sports blogs in Blogfrica...
Sure, you're paying 20% more than the non-logo model to intern your loved one in the last and most symbolic act of never growing up. But can you really put a price on making sure that their remains spend the rest of non-biodegradable eternity in the loving embrace of Cub Fandom? If I were you, I'd go the extra mile and put a Fathead on the inside of the box or urn. That's the tasteful thing to do.
(And if you must know, yes, I'm going down in a Garment of Greatness. Why risk going nooky-less in the next world?)
As always, post your pick in the comments. Everything doubles here, so a perfect pick in the Series is worth 120 points... a big swing is still possible.
Simon - 195 Bullet - 190 Al - 155 Liston - 135 Shooter - 110 Brian - 85 Truth - 80 Will - 75 HHR - 30 Chief - 25
With Boston putting a stake in the Angels tonight, Round 1 of the MLB playoffs is in the books, and so is our little picks game. No one got all four rounds correct, and with the points doubling in the second round, it's still anyone's Garment of Greatness.
Simon 85 Brian 85 Bullet 80 Will 75 Shooter 60 Al 55 Truth 30 HHR 30 Liston 25 Chief 25
As part of the site's mission statement to cause our own pain, the Truth and I will square off in our usual playoff picks challenge. The loser has to write something really, really painful. Scoring is as follows: 20 points for picking the winning team, 10 for choosing the number of exact games, 5 for being one off with the winner. Each round doubles.
While one of us will lose, one of you will win . We'll be awarding a Garment of Greatness (aka, a Five Tool Tool T-shirt) to the commenter with the highest score, so post yours in the comments. It's great for cleaning up spills, scaring small children, and getting you nooky with girls with low self-esteem. (If you are a girl, it'll make your breasts perkier.) So pick already!
Milwaukee-Philadelphia
Yovani Gallardo works Game One, just the fifth time he'll pitch in this year, for a Brewer team that staggered into the post-season. They'll face Phillies ace Cole Hamels, who should be good here. Game two has workhorse CC Sabathia against second-half superstar Brett Myers, and Game Three gives you Jamie Moyer against Jeff Suppan. Game four is said to be Dave Bush against Hamels in the game where the Brewers will miss Ben Sheets the most, and Five, if necessary, would be Sabathia against Myers.
The Phils have home field, rested aces, and unlike the Brewers, healthy starters. They also have fresh reasons for despair, in that Pat Burrell is having back issues, but the Brew bullpen is just shaky enough to give them late-game magic. Besides, they turned their year around with a 4-game sweep that cost Ned Yost his job just a few weeks ago; they think they can beat this team like a drum at home, and they will.
CC has made himself ridiculous money from his three-month NL sabbatical, but it ends here and somewhat decisively, despite the fact that we're talking about more or less even teams. Oh, and watch for a crippling fielding error from the Brewers; they are better than they were last year since Ryan Braun was banished to the outfield, but still not that good. Phillies in four.
Los Angeles-Chicago
The Cubs were a whopping 13 games better than the Dodgers this year while playing in a tougher division. The series starts with Derek Lowe vs. the suddenly dominant Ryan Dempster, followed by Chad Billingsley against Carlos Zambrano. Game three has Rich Harden against Hideki Kuroda, with Game Four being Ted Lilly against Greg Maddux.
Basically, the Cubs should have an edge in every pitching matchup of this series, along with an edge in the starting lineups. The bullpens are more or less a wash, with both closer situations being less than airtight. Hell, I even like the Cubs in the dugout, as Lou Pinella works against Joe Torre; Torre has more rings, but it's not like any of them have come in this century, and he doesn't usually do as well when his team is just ordinary.
If the Cubs can limit the damage from the ludicrously hot Manny Ramirez and a crippling injury to the very good but very worrisome Zambrano / Harden combo, they should sweep. But Derek Lowe has a history of post-season success, and the Cub fan base is all about me-me-me drama, whereas no one is really expecting that the Dodgers are going to be around for long. I think the series is close and tough, but Greg Maddux in Game 4 is a real worry, as he's just not a big-game pitcher anymore. Cubs in 4. Los Angeles-Boston
Kind of a mirror to Dodges-Cubs, except that in this case, the better team is out West. The Angels coasted to postseason with a 100-win year, ignited in the second half by the suspiciously low-priced trade of Mark Teixiera to really make that lineup go. Boston failed to catch Tampa in the pennant race and has injury issues to go with some shakiness in the late inning pen, though closer Jonathan Papelbon continues to be one of the game's best.
Pitching wise, this goes Jon Lester versus John Lackey, then an off day before Dice-K against Ervin Santana. Once the series moves to Boston, it's Joe Saunders aginst Josh Beckett, and the off day means that both teams are going to skip their fourth starter, at least at present. Santana at home is a lot better than Santana on the road, but Dice has also been living with great fortune -- you don't often see an 18-2 record and sub 3-run ERA with a 1.32 WHIP, mostly from a lot of walks. Lester and Lackey are both great, and Saunders is serviceable. The wild card is Beckett, who has been awful at times this year and fighting through injuries.
Lineup wise, Boston's beat up, and David Ortiz has not been himself all year. Jason Bay's a good player and not a drama fest, but he hasn't been otherworld Manny in the stretch. (Left aside: Manny wouldn't have been, either.) When your offensive MVP is Dustin Pedroia, that's a nice story, but it's not a great offense.
I like the Angels here, but it won't be easy or pretty, especially since this thing lines up very nicely for a big Boston comeback after falling behind. Whoever wins Game One will win the series, and as good as Lester has looked in big moments this year, that's surprisingly close. Angels in five.
Tampa-Chicago
Do you believe in momentum? Then you will love this ChiSox team, who has won multiple elimination games to get the maiden Rays. Tampa was 8 games better in the regular season and has dramatically better pitching, along with a roaring new home crowd and dome that will prove highly irritating to the visitors from Chicago.
Game One has Javier Vazquez going against James Shields, while Game Two gives us Mark Buehrle facing the electric stuff of Scott Kazmir. Game three in Chicago has elimination game hero Gavin Floyd (yes, the Phillies could use him) against Matt Garza, while Game Four has both teams going to Andy Sonnastine versus Jon Danks.
The Rays have the better starting nine, a manager that isn't prone to the crazy talk, a home crowd that will probably clear anything and the better starters. They also will have the usual doubters citing their lack of playoff experience, and at some point in these playoffs, the health of closer Troy Percival and the mental stability of talented head case BJ Upton will prove fatal. I also think they are kind of nuts for trying to turn David Price into Joba Chamberlain at this point in his career, though when you see his stuff, I get why they are falling into temptation.
Anyway, the Rays will lose... but not this early. Tampa in 4.
Tonight in New York, the Shooter Wife and I were in the studio audience for the Colbert Report taping. Here's All You Need To Know.
> The Colbert studio is in a relatively unassuming part of Hell's Kitchen, on the western side of Manhattan, near the southern part of Central Park. It's a pretty residential area, and if it weren't for a few awnings with the Colbert markings, you could easily walk right past it.
> Tickets are free, but are pretty murderous to get; I just happened to be on the site a couple of months ago when one lonely day opened up. Go to the site today, and you'll most likely see the tickets reserved for year in advance.
The reason why is simple: there are only 107 seats in the place, and Colbert has about 1.3 million viewers every night. I haven't talked to a friend yet about this who hasn't expressed profound jealousy.
> The line begins forming around 3pm, with conflicting e-mails that tell you to be there early, that your tickets might be revoked if you aren't on line before 5pm, and yada yada yada. We got there around 3:30 with stuff to read, and queued up in a dedicated concrete area, under an awning. It can't be pleasant when the weather's nasty, but yesterday was beautiful, so it was all good.
> Line tidbits... Daily Show guests can't appear on Colbert for two weeks after their appearance. I'm betting that if you are local to the show, getting in via stand-in seats isn't impossible.
> The audience is 90 to 95% slacker kids in their low '20s; it wasn't until we got inside that we saw anyone that looked evern remotely close to our age. The group that was in front of us was obsessed for some reason by the '70s Manfred Mann song, "Blinded By The Light," and kept singing the refrain, but with the word "douche" substituted for "deuce." I think their version works better, really.
> Colbert could easily charge for seats -- there's no one on line that wouldn't have given up a $10 or $20 spot to see the taping, and the income would help them pay junior production people, who are basically young NYC near-homeless -- but the decision is to keep crowd goodwill up as much as possible, for reasons we'll see later. At least two of the kids were chowing down on Americone Dream, the ice cream flavor that Ben and Jerry made for Colbert.
> Around 5:15, security came out to tell the crowd that the taping is a no drugs, no metal, no weapons, no food or beverage kind of place. Over the next half hour, we are led into a holding area that looks like a dingy passport office, or a beaten down post office, where security sends everyone through an airport-style checkdown. The room has a single monitor showing a Colbert DVD, and a restroom for each gender. Not exactly chi chi.
> Security, at this point, asked me to give up the FTT Garment of Greatness that I had brought to the show, in the longshot hope of a Colbert Bump for the site. I give it to a production assistant, who promises he'll put it in Colbert's mailbox. As good as I can hope for, really.
> After another half hour or so of standing around and wondering how long we'd have to wait, the production assistant who took the Garment clued us in on status (rehearsal just ending, seating imminent, bathroom now or never). VIPs are seated first (they have different colored passes), then the regular members of Colbert Nation. (We were seated stage left, in the third row or so; I think you can see us on the wide shot at the start of the show for a second. I'm wearing a red shirt, and the Shooter Wife is wearing a bluish-purple one.)
> The Colbert Studios, while small, are nice; it's pretty cool to be in the room you've seen a million times. It's also kept pretty cool, so if you ever go, prepare.
> After another 10 to 15 minutes of listening to pretty good alternarock, a warm-up comedian came on and did some improv insults of the audience. (Sorry, but my Crackberry was off by then, so no notes for his name.) That's a tough gig, because his time has to be incredibly flexible, and he's punctuating his act with show updates. The guy was a white insult comic with a shaved head; he punctuated insults of wealthy and douchey looking audience members (he also baited some lacrosse players, which made my day) with self-hate. It worked well enough.
> The "toss" is the little quasi-improv aside with Stewart and Colbert at the end of The Daily Show. It's touch and go as to whether it's done or not, and the Daily Show tapes first, a couple of blocks away. When the toss is done, the anchors are actually talking to each other via satellite, just because that's the tech they've got. Tonight, it was expected to happen, but didn't, to the audience's dismay.
> The studio has a permanent chalk outline where Colbert fell and broke his wrist, leading to the Wrist Strong bracelet gimmick that has led to a nice charity boost for the troops.
> Finally, the man himself emerged to take a few questions before the show began. Having been prepared for this from the Five Tool Ninja, who has also been to a show, I got the first question in. I stood to address him, leading Colbert to say, "How polite!" (Well, I'm short, and wanted to make sure to project.) My goal was to see if I could make him geek out. It worked.
"We know you've played Dungeons and Dragons, but Colbert Nation demands to know -- were you a thief, fighter, cleric or magic-user, and what was your alignment?" (I was going to also ask him about his opinion on half-races and half-classes, and didn't really want to use the word demand, but frankly, I was pretty damned nervous, and just happy to get the question out without tripping over my tongue.)
Colbert was clearly tickled by the question, and thought for a few seconds on the answer. "My last character was a Wizard variant from Dragon Magazine, a Witch. Her name was Lulu -- yes, I'm very comfortable with my gender orientation, and she was a 13th level Witch." Here, he threw me a curve. "She died from the breath attack of a black dragon, which is..."
Thinking hard and quickly, as it's been decades for me since I played the game... Red was fire, White was ice, so Black had to be... "Acid?"
"Correct! That's fantastic!" Smiling widely, he waits a beat. "I think I'm having a nerdgasm! Also, that we've alienated the entire audience." He then turned with comic derision to take another question, which was about the Saginaw Spirit. Deferring from hockey, he then talked up his new love of timbersports, rattling off names and tech for a few seconds, then finishing off with "Now, we've alienated everyone that we didn't take care of with the first question."
I can't tell you how happy I was to get the black dragon question right. Made my year, it did.
> Colbert flubbed the open on two different occasions, so if the crowd sounds particulaly overblown on the final film, it was simply because we were rooting hard for him to get it down. (You can also see a little fist pump from him on the first joke as he tries to get through it.) On the subsequent takes, Colbert moved lines around and changed the timing, and once he got past it, he was able to get through the second and third segments without a stop, though the second segment seemed close to wiping out.
> During breaks, Colbert talks to staff, dances around, and sings along to the music like he's the lead singer in a band, with eye contact to the audience as if he's expecting them to know, and sing, the words. (They played REM's "End of the World As We Know It" -- yes, the same tune that we had on the site earlier this week to honor your first place Rays -- and he pointed to the audience to have us yell, "Leonard Bernstein!") He's got the charisma of someone who simply seems to love his job, and that's why the show taping is genuinely fun.
> The interview with Sen. Claire McCaskill was OK, but the best part of it didn't make the air. Before the commercial break, Colbert whirled in his chair, pointed at his guest, and screamed, "You're going down, McCaskill!" As the Senator has clearly seen the show before, she laughed it off.
> All in all, the show was pretty good, and while we were both a bit hoarse from whooping and over laughing (he's funny, but when you are in the room, you're really trying to help him have a great show), it's a pretty good time. (But after acing the Black Dragon Breath Test, what do you expect me to say?)
On May 28, 2008, I will attend a taping of "The Colbert Report" in New York.
I mention this for the following reasons.
1) To provoke relentless jealousy among my fellow Colbert Lovers,
2) To create the sad tease of an FTT contest for who among you wants to go with me (make your pitch in the comments, but the Shooter Wife has the inside track),
3) To collect suggestions for what to wear (I'm thinking the House of Meat Championship Belt and the FTT T-Shirt Garment of Greatness -- but that much awesomeness at one time might tear a hole in the space-time continuum)
4) To collect suggestions for what questions need to be asked (Stephen, I am told, plays Stump the Audience before the taping begins)
5) And really, just to show you that It's My World, Dammit.
So go ahead, Nation -- convince me of your worthiness to inhabit my world.
Hey folks, it's just been ages since I sat back on my chucklebutt and let you people do the work. Let's open up the good old mail bag!
Dear FTT -- I've been without a fantasy sports team for nearly two months now, and baseball doesn't start for another six weeks. How do I keep from feeling a vague sense of dread that I may be getting a life? -- A. Builder, Chester PA
Dear Builder -- You see, this is why you need the NBA in your life. Did you know that right now, three teams in the Western Conference -- Phoenix, Los Angeles and Dallas -- have all pulled off ridiculously big trades (for Pau Gasol, Shaquille O'Neal and Jason Kidd, respectively), and that the game has never been better for a fantasy player... because very few teams are really tanking, so there are not too many places where the minutes are incredibly up in the air, and...
Oh, what the hell. You're probably already ranking players for your fantasy baseball draft.
Dear FTT -- Who do you like as sleepers in your fantasy draft? -- Gangsta Mook, Berkeley, CA
Dear G-Mook -- Normally I'd avoid identifying these players until after my own draft was over, for fear of tipping my hand. But since the only league I'm likely to be in right now is an auction with not enough people in it, I'll let 'em loose in a classic double-bluff. Go hard for Francisco Liriano in the classic Rich Harden tease role. While you're at it, go for Rich Harden, too. Brett Myers might be a cheap source of strikeouts and abject stupidity, and Matt Cain has to be better now that the Giants aren't playing ancient monoliths in their outfield.
As for who I'm shying away from, Josh Beckett is a historic injury risk, threw a ton of innings last year, and came to spring training wearing David Wells' stomach. Avoid. CC Sabathia is also fat and overworked, which is rarely a good combination (and it's killing me not to make any number of catty celebrity jokes here, but it's not that kind of blog). Johan Santana will cost the world and probably be the best SP in MLB, but you rarely win with that; you win with the guy that overdelivers on value. This year in New York, that's Pedro Martinez.
On offense, Daric Barton will take the first step towards a lucrative non-A's contract, Grady Sizemore may yet have another gear to access, and Melky Cabrera will be as quiet of a bargain as you can get in the Bronx. I also think Andruw Jones is the kind of guy who does better with no pressure, and there's something about Khalil Greene that makes me keep thinking he'll make a push.
Avoid post-contract Torii Hunter and Ichiro Suzuki, don't overpay for the potentially roid-empty David Ortiz, and there's no way that Jimmy Rollins can do that again.
More later, as we get closer to the season.
Dear FTT -- Do you still have T-Shirts to sell, and if so, in what size? -- A. Shill, Philadelphia, PA
Dear Shill -- The Garment of Greatness is available in Medium, Large, Extra Large and Why Won't You People Buy These, My Children Need Shoes. E-mail us at dmtshooter@gmail.com for details. Makes a great gift!
Dear FTT -- Why don't you ever comment on the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition? It's not like there is anything else going on at this time of year. - A. Wanker, Dayton, OH
Dear Wanker -- Seriously, this is still a story? I'll admit that I used to look forward to getting the only home-delivered porn that you didn't have to explain away as a teenager, but that was pre-Internet, when your options were extraordinarily limited, assuming you didn't have the ability to just say screw it and go give a bored magazine seller cash and see what would happen. Now, with 24-7-365 people doing all kinds of things to all kinds of things, am I really supposed to get hot and bothered by airbrushed supermodels wearing dental floss? Come back when there's fluids involved. On second thought, don't, because wankery and sports already are way too mixed together -- witness 98% of the World Wide Lemur's non-live event programming.
Dear FTT -- What random link of causality is rattling inside your head today, that I'm going to have to put up with when you get home? - A. Wife, Hamilton, NJ
Dear Wife -- Glad you asked! There's a story in the NY Times today (I'd link to it, but I don't want to be indirectly responsible for a tragedy) about an epidemic of mid-life suicides. It seems that people in their 40s and 50s are offing themselves in dramatically increasing numbers, for reasons that, of course, no one can really talk about, since the people who are doing it are dead and all.
Now, you can wonder if this has something to do with economic stress, or the shaking stress that a society goes through as it transitions from one that depends on religion for all of the answers, to a more secular state where fewer and fewer people face their demise with the knowledge that it's all going to be paradise so long as they don't commit the naughty move of checking out early. You might even position it to technology creating a distance among those of a certain age, who have never cottoned to, say, expressing themselves meaningfully in an e-mail or IM window, and hence, feel left behind from the clicking crowds.
Or, like me, you can wonder if there's some way to blame the World Wide Lemur for the whole thing, because honestly, if you are beyond the age of 30, watching "Who's Next" and not wanting to go Lewinsky on a .38... well, I'm inclined to think that maybe you *should* go Lewsinsky on a .38.
Thanks for reading, writing, and helping me fill the bloghole for yet another day. Remember, all FTT letter writers receive a Garment of Greatness! (Note: We said nothing about free.)
I've been in one of those cycles were people feel compelled to ask me questions about the blog, and repeating myself is boring. So here's the recent FAQ, in print form, so that I can just point people to the site and go back to being breathtakingly antisocial.
1) "How many T-shirts do you sell, anyway"
Who are you, the IRS? Not enough. Buy some. They make tits on a girl look big, and tits on a boy look small. It's freaking magic. Buy extras.
2) "What's your posting schedule?"
The Epic Drops happen Sunday through Thursday nights, so that site can have something to start its day with, and so that Scrap won't put out his cigarette in my face. The FTT work is a lot more scattershot, but my basic rule of thumb is to try not to let the scroll of content on the left try not to be too dwarfed by the business on the right. Yes, motivations to write are just that stupid for bloggers. Or, at least, this one.
3) "How much traffic and ad revenue do you get?"
Who are you, the IRS? Not enough. Click on some ads. Especially now that the New York Times is advertising on the site. Sure, they gave Judith Miller carte blanche to repeat the Bush Administration's lies to get us into the war in Iraq and pay William Kristol to be wrong about everything, but they're really liberal!
4) "How come you don't review movies, write about your personal life, inflict your musical tastes, cover reality television shows as if they were sports or provide link drops to other sites?"
For the first four, because this is (mostly) a sports blog, so I make the assumption that you're only here if you care about sports. I'm pretty sure that you don't care about me or the other writers on this site. And if you do, buy a shirt.
On the last one, because I'm just too lazy, but we might start doing that.
5) "Do you consider yourself a journalist?"
I was trained as one, but you can not pay me enough to go stand in a locker room and smell Athlete Stench while listening to savants recite cliches while they are mostly naked. I'm not quite sure why anyone accepts money for that job, really.
Here's your updated MLB Playoff scoreboard. Remember, the losers in the Tool Division suffer Abject Humiliation TBD, while the winner in the Non-Tool Division gets a FREE Garment of Greatness. In this as in many things, it's good to not be a Tool.
Tool Division
Ninja - 60 Truth - 35 Shooter - 20
Non-Tools
Joeski - 80 DC Scrap - 75 Zach - 45 Shorty - 40 BD - 35 Andrew - 35 Klondike - 30 Vegas - 25 Original DJ - 20 SDuck - 10 JCobra - 0 Suzy - 0
Third and final round, the points double once again... so if you pick the team and the number of games correctly, you're looking at 80 points. (One game off, 60.) Please post your pick in the comments before Game 1.
After going a perfect 0-for-4 in the first round of my MLB picks, I'm dying to get back in the mix of things as part of our little game of humiliation. Luckily, with the points doubling in this round, there's still time for a rousing comeback. (Well, OK, no. But a man can dream.)
As before, pick the winner and the number of games. If you're right on the team, it's worth 20 points; if you are right on the games, another 20. One off on games gets you 10. Picks need to be in before the next round starts.
For everyone that picked before, it's time for your next round, in the comments. Remember, a free FTT T-shirt goes to the non-Tool winner, so even if you didn't get in last round, pick now.
Round 1 Standings
Joeski 60 BD 35 Andrew 35 Ninja 30 Klondike 30 DC Scrap 25 Vegas 25 Original DJ 20 Zach 15 Truth 15 SDuck 10 JCobra 0 DMtShooter 0
Update... for the record, I called Holliday's kill shot homer last night, live, before it happened. Because I Am Just That Prescient. (And because Micah Owings has ownings me before...)
In our little game, Joeski still leads with 60 points, but DC Scrap jumped 30 points to 55. Only three of us picked the Rocks to win round 2, proving that teams that win 21 of 22 just don't get the respect they deserve, really...
OK, Nation... fresh from the riotous success of last year's NBA Playoff Dare Bet, it's time for our MLB Playoff Picks. Best of all, we're opening this up to the whole Nation.
Here's how it works. You call your shot in all MLB playoff series, both the team that wins and the number of games. For the winning team, you get 10 points, and if they win in the number of games you picked, that's an extra 10. Missing it by just one game gets you 5. The stakes double in each succeeding round. Picks must be in before the start of every series, so act fast and keep an eye on how things are going.
I'll be going against The Truth and the Five Tool Ninja in our continuing battle to see who is the biggest idiot; our picks will appear in this post later today. The losers have to subject themselves to a truly hideous public punishment that will be viewable here on Five Tool Tool. The winner will get to indulge in a epic case of Ha, Ha finger-pointing.
Finally, the top Commenter will win their own free Garment of Greatness -- i.e., a Free Five Tool Tool shirt. So make your picks in the comments now, and get in the game!
DMtShooter's Picks / Truth's Picks / Ninja's Picks ANA in 4 / BOS in 4 / BOS in 4 NYY in 4 / NYY in 5 / NYY in 4 PHL in 4 / PHL in 4 / PHL in 5 CHI in 4 / CHI in 4 / ARI in 4
In this recent post by FTT's own The Truth, we were able to show how, in a single-elimination tournament, your own Jamestown Jimmies swung the most pipe in all of college sports nomenclature.
Since that momentous moment, FTT has received more traffic from North Dakota -- which, as you can see from this actual photo from our site measurement service, is so far north as to be in permafrost -- than could easily be imagined. By our calculations, 48% of the student body has already came to the site, and that was just in the morning, before getting on with their day.
It's also no surprise, of course, that the Jimmies have continued to give the high hard one to their opponents on the actual gridiron, too. In their last win over the stinky Beavers of Minot State (why did they even bother to show up -- didn't they realize that Jimmies always pound Beavers?), the Jimmies rose to the occasion with a 28-16 jackhammer of a win. This leaves the Jimmies at 3-0, undefeated, unbowed, and damn near invincible, at least to our one good eye.
Jimmies Nation, FTT wants to maintain its staying power as your One True Blog. But we can't do it without your help. To that end, we're officially announcing our Jimmies Only FTT Shirt Giveaway.
It's very simple: to enter, post your comments to this entry as to why you should be First Among Jimmies. Then, check back see if the judges have deemed your entry the winner, and we'll do the hook up to get your own FREE Garment of Greatness. (Of course, if other Jimmies want to be complete dicks about the contest and order their own shirt before the contest ends -- well, you can't keep a good Jimmie down.)
That's all there is to it: some lucky Jimmie is going to take us for a 100% FREE shirt. Your deadline is 6pm EST on this Friday, September 28 (and yes, it used to be earlier -- I'm giving you people a few more hours to get your permafrosted asses in gear). May the best Jimmie win!
If you want us to link to your blog, ask. If you steal content from FTT, Baby Jesus will cry, and your blog will become nearly as unpopular as this one. If you think we've violated copyright, tell us nicely and we'll probably stop. If you read this, either out loud or just in your own mind, you agree to Not Sue, buy our T-shirts, click on the site ads and spend your every waking hour furthering the Cult of FTT. It's not a nice cult.
It's MLB picture day over at the Sports Hernia. The Brewers going all emo does not bode well for their chances, I think.
