Top 12 reasons why Tucker Carlson thinks Mike Vick "should have been executed"

12) Part of an under-ground ring who watch gladiator slave men fight to the death, and really wanted to see Vick compete in that arena

11) Secretly favors capital punishment for thousands of crimes

10) It's a slow "news" day over at Fox "News" Channel

9) Since Barack Obama recently came out in favor of Vick's second chance, he's contractually obligated to find something wrong with that

8) Just wanted to be part of the long-standing tradition of right-wing blowhards to say something asinine about a star black Eagles QB

7) Carlson's brand of old-school indulgence Christianity only gives second chances to corporate sinners

6) Tucker, like many other bow-tie wearers with bloodlust issues, is a closet Giants fan

5) Carlson's original attack was to be on the Eagles for having a commitment to renewable energy, but the check from BP bounced

4) Still hoping for a rematch against Jon Stewart, and thinks this might be his chance

3) Has the pure conviction and guts necessary to offend both of Fox's black viewers

2) Really annoyed that his bet of the Eagles to cover the spread against the Vikings didn't work out

1) Missed the waiver claim on Vick in his fantasy football league, and lost his nerd league as a result