Top 12 reasons why Cliff Lee signed with the Phillies

12) Believes that by working with managers and coaches that he's worked with before, he can really improve his control

11) Enjoys making people in Boston and Philly happy, and people in New York and Washington miserable

10) It's the ony place where he could work in the pressure-free environment of being the #4 starter

9) Now that George Steinbrenner is dead, the Yankee are no longer able to buy anyone of consequence, which is just such a crying shame, really

8) By going back to the NL, gets to work on his only flaw -- hitting for power

7) Life has just lost its sweetness since he parted ways with Joe Blanton

6) Yankee Fan kind of blew their chance with him by spitting on his wife

5) Knew that by timing his signing during Favregeddon, could avoid nearly all sports media coverage

4) Pays more attention to the last decade of Phillies competence than the previous century

3) Didn't want to be drawn into CC Sabathia's gravitational well

2) Had the good sense to avoid working in Texas during the summer

1) One word: Chooooooooooooooch