Top 10 reasons why the Cavs hired a law firm to probe the LeBron James signing

10) Apparently, only law firms are able to prove a difference between living in Cleveland and living in Miami

9) When the opponent is Pat Riley, you just feel inadequate if you don't have your own greasey opportunist

8) Lawyers in this country do so much for so little, so the Cavs just wanted to give back

7) The firm promised they could get those Nike ads off the air in local markets

6) This will definitely help to take the crazy out of the atmosphere when James comes back to town

5) Gilbert wants to show James what it's like to give full effort in a futile cause

4) The over-the-top reaction and bizarre behavior is sure to impress future top free agents

3) It's clearly not enough that the Heat are nearly as mediocre as the Cavs

2) Without this, the nation's media was goign to completely ignore James coming back to Cleveland

1) It's the fallback position for Gilbert's original idea, a city-wide recording of a new version of "You Oughta Know"