Top 10 reasons why the L'il Brett Investigation has taken so long

NFL Grand Wizard Roger Goodell has taken months to get the Brett Favre / Jenn Sterger matter resolved. What's the real reasons behind the hold-up?

10) Was thrown by the double N, and the fact that the woman's last name is the backwards spelling of Regrets, for like, months

9) Didn't want to deter anyone from the purchase of Favre Streak Memorabilia

8) Had to take care of putting games in Toronto and London, but not Los Angeles, first

7) Spent several weeks comparing the cell phone photos of L'il Gray Brett to matters that were more close at hand

6) Would rather spend time not getting a labor deal done to avoid a nuclear winter lockout

5) Those Black Eyed Peas Super Bowl negotiations took much longer than expected, in that he had to keep convincing others around the league that he was seriously considering hiring the Black Eyed Peas

4) Every time he meant to rule on it, James Harrison would hit someone

3) Drafted Ryan Grant and Randy Moss in his fantasy league, so he's been really busy working the waiver wire

2) Needed to weigh in on the utterly shocking development of someone from the Bill Belichick coaching tree getting into trouble relating to the videotaping an opponent's practice session

1) Knew that if he just waits long enough, Favre would either go away, or have his media geishas take care of it