Michael Vick To Make A PETA Ad

NEW YORK (AdAge.com) -- Disgraced one-time NFL superstar Michael Vick, who is serving prison time for funding an illegal dog-fighting ring, is primed to do public-service ads for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals upon his release later this month. According to three people with knowledge of the matter, the proposed endorsement is part of a comprehensive PR scheme aimed at rehabilitating the quarterback's image and gaining him re-admission to the league that banned him from playing.

I don't have the time or brain cells to give this what it deserves right now, but as site contributor The Truth notes... perhaps it's not the wisest PR strategy to let people know this is, well, a PR strategy.

We now return you to many overwritten fake scripts for the shoot...

UPDATE: Oh, hell, who am I kidding? It writes itself.

VICK: Hi, I'm Michael Vick. You might remember me from such felonious behavior as cruelty to animals, and running illegal dogfights.

(Camera pans to reveal stables in background, and a tracking device on VICK'S leg)

VICK: You might also know me by my comically silly pseudonym, Ron Mexico, under which I had sex with prostitutes and contracted herpes.

(Soft camera focus on a cute larger dog on a leash that VICK holds)

VICK: What I did was wrong -- mind-boggingly, horrifically, never be able to look me in the eye again wrong.

(Camera comes back to VICK, whose nostrils flare)

VICK: But you know what's even more wrong? Failing to spay or neuter your pet.

(Camera pans to a club, which is revealed to be in VICK's non-leash hand)

VICK: When you fail to responsibly care for your pet's reproduction, you allow monsters like me the livestock we need for our sick, sick games.

(Camera cuts to dog, looking up at club with worry)

VICK: So if you want to stop bloodsport dogfighting, spay your animals today.

(VICK kneels to nuzzle dog playfully)

VICK: I'll be sad you did.

And... scene!