Dirk Dangerously

Far be it for me, really, to disparage another man's choice of poon. I have come back from the happy hunting grounds with less than the legal limit, shall we say. But, really, Dirk Nowitzki... this is what you wind up with, as an All-NBA big man with eight-figure annual salaries?

(If you must dwell, the link takes you to her sobbing jailhouse interviews in which she's pregnant, Dirk knew all about her past and called her "his little jailbird", and the scandalous mess of it all is all due to a vengeful German coach. Um, whatever.)