Bronco Fan's Year Just Keeps Getting Better

Let's just make this very clear, Bronco Fan: the 2009 season is not going to go well for you. The schedule involves the NFC East, which will roll you. The Chargers get Shawn Merriman back, which means their defense will have some bite. The Chiefs can't be that bad again, especially now that they have a coach that isn't named Herm Edwards. The Raiders... well, OK, there's still the Raiders. Your big move on defense was to bring in a high-priced safety that can't run well enough to do pass coverage anymore. Your big move on offense was to shoot yourself in the head by alienating your franchise quarterback, then to draft a running back when your system has proven that anyone with a pulse can put up numbers in that position. Your coach is responsible for the QB exile, and is way too damned young and arrogant to win at this level.

But on the plus side, you'll also be wearing this for two games next year. Yes, the consensus choice for the worst uniform in sports history, with some kind of Mutant Mustard Man with bumblebee socks. But on the plus side, the colors match what a young child will produce (I change enough diapers to know where I speak).

On some level, you have to wonder if this entire thing is meant to be a psychological stress test on new safety Brian Dawkins. I get that the man is sleeping on a bed of stupid money, and is basically a year or two from retirement, but this can't be what he signed up for, is it? A nice little 8-8 year, maybe a playoff game or two, media mouth jobs giving him the John Lynch Love-In and with Tony Gonzalez leaving KC, Antonio Gates not really being himself anymore and the Raiders being the Raiders, that's not the worst retirement in the world. But instead, he gets to wear these clown clothes. I think the man's going to hurt himself on purpose by Halloween.

But anyway, back to the matter at eye. How bad are these jerseys? The first time the team tried to use them, the players burned them. They might want to try that again this year. Just make sure McDaniels is in the gear when you fire 'em up...