Today's snarky drop, just to prove to you that the site's mission will continue despite the current solemnity, is chock-full of NFL hate. I'm proud of the continuing denigration of my race, and the phrases "dying nerdlings" and "coked-up greaseball." Those should be good for some quality search engine traffic.
World of Isaac breaks the fact that the Lions put Roy Williams on their calendar... for 2009. I can't fault the front office too much for this, though. Why should they watch that team enough to know that Williams is now a Cowboy? Besides, it's not like Roy was ever heard from again after he went to Texas...
Fighting terror with underwear. Worth a click purely for the name of the organization.
Eagle Fan getting way too excited about Anquan Boldin. We just never, ever, stop dreaming that Big Star Wide Receiver will come again to absolve us of all of our sins...
I'm shocked, shocked, to discover that Terrell Owens and Tony Romo had practice issues. Chicken soup for this Eagle Fan's soul.
Lions' coach Rod Marinelli exits classy, according to Pro Football Talk. I admire the bitterness. But why couldn't he have gone out with Naked Drive Thru, as it traditional in the Motor City?
Jon Pyle, a fine purveyor of lists and hate, sacks up with the athletes most likely to get the media mouth job. Fine work. Firm tongue. I give it an 85, and I can dance to it.
Tirico Suave shows the evidence of Donovan McNabb's malfeasance.
And finally, just in case y'all are feeling patriotic, the best version of the song that used a singer. Besides, it's got those old-school Nuggets threads, and the entire crowd clapping along on the 1. America, what's going on?
Nick Underhill goes in-depth on the AL West. I'll steal mercilessly from this later when I convince you all that I know something about the division.
The World of Isaac looks over the Lions Town Hall Meeting. Yes, this is for real. I recommend that you come naked with drive-through food, or perhaps as a drowned tranny hooker. Lions Town will accommodate.
Look, we're going to have several weeks to work out our Steeler Fan Hate, because, well, the Steelers have fans. But the Cardinals also have unspeakable tools in their "fanbase" as well. As my old polysci teacher once said, Hear The Other Side. Or, in this case, Hate. More to hate here, with lyrics.
Oh, and on the off chance that you are jonesin' for some action after all of those sure-fire NFL game picks that I gave you... the good folks at Doc Sports are offering up
Sports Betting Rules, College Basketball Handicapping and the NBA spread. NBA games can be surprisingly useful, especially if you watch those 4-games-in-5-nights opportunities. Go with a smile.
From The Beautiful Game, proof that other sports and countries have issues with snowballs from the fans, too. Dammit, I thought only Philly Fan could stoop so low!
Moondog Sports with the news that Tranny Lions Fan did not have a wonderful life. And as always with Detroit Crime, the critical detail (whose jersey? I'm thinking it was... a half-price Tatum Bell gamer) is missed...
Ravens Fan over at NFL Juice notes how the Titans' issue with towels continued in their playoff loss. A must-read for Steeler Fan who is still giggling over them going down for the Terrible Towel Abuse...
If you are local to Philly, check out some friends of mine (EDO and Todd Young) from back in my Musician Daze who still play music, and do it well. I might even be there for their gig this Saturday night, though nothing in this world is certain.
And just because I'm getting dangerously geeked over the long-overdue movie of the best graphic novel ever made, here's Watchmen Trailer Number Two. Please, please, please, don't suck...
And finally, this small moment of Joy from Giant Fan, courtesy of the 700 Level. The lesson, as always, is to take public transportation to the games.
Hey, you're reading the site on Black Friday? You communist. You need to be out there, fighting in the malls, keeping our economy from utter collapse. It's all on you, part-time Mets owner, and I will not cotton to your disinterest in pulling your fair share.
Well, OK, maybe that's too hasty on my part. You could still be buying something online, perhaps from one of FTT's fine stable of advertisers? They also represent the Christmas spirit, in that nothing quite says Christmas like whatever the site's ad feed is pulling in today. Ho ho ho!
Oh, and here's your link for the day. It manages to connect cankles and oral sex with the Detroit Lions in a way that I think will surprise you.
At 3:46 pm, with a minute left in what turns out to be the Lions' worst-ever Thanksgiving loss -- and man, that takes some work, really -- Phil Simms told the national television audience that coming to Detroit every year on the holiday was "still fun."
Um, for who?
Honestly, NFL, this is a tradition that needs to be stopped. There is no reason to subject the world to the Lions as the only pro football game that can be viewed at this time. They are horrible. They have nearly always been horrible. They will continue to be horrible. They should never be shown to anyone but their fans and the fans of the opposing team.
And if they have to continue to be on the holiday, at least put them on NFLN at night, which is where terrible games belong.
Now, technically, Detroit lost on a late pass interference call on Leigh Bodden that was pretty questionable, which set up the game-winning field goal. But when the final score is 12-10, and you have this play happen... um, wow. The only thing that would have made this better is if Orlovsky hit his head against the wall, Frerotte-style, to celebrate the moment. Matt Millen, your legacy just keeps growing...
Early link tonight, because dammit, when Matt Millen gets canned, you have to move fast.
You know, faster than Mike Williams.
Anyway, take a click, because unless I miss my guess, it's the only wrap-up of the Millen Era that uses the word "scat." (Well, hmm, maybe not...)
Jay Glazer, of FOXSports.com, reports Detroit Lions team president and general manager Matt Millen has been removed from his jobs with the team. It is not clear if Millen was fired or removed himself from the equation. The Lions are an NFL-worst 31-84 since Millen took over in 2001.
Don't miss this... the story of Tatum Bell, in the midst of being cut by the Lions, stealing the bag of the guy that's replacing him (Rudi Johnson), and getting caught by security cameras.
Words fail, folks. Words fail. (And if someone else in the league gives Bell another job, my gast will be even more flabbered.)
H/t, Five Tool Ninja and Pro Football Talk...
Here's today's link, which required more research than usual, and has perhaps the single best moment that I can imagine to summarize the whole of the existence of the Detroit Lions, in that Scott Mitchell is a Legendary Lion. No, I'm not kidding. Go, by all means, and wonder.
24 years old. A two-time Pro Bowl selection in four years in the league. 34 touchdowns in 60 games, with over 4,500 yards. And despite a long period of fevered longing, not an Eagle; not now, and most likely, not ever.
The other show dropped today, as Phoenix worked out a cap-saving deal to keep Pro Bowl WR Larry Fitzgerald in the fold. Speculation has been running for well over a week in the Philly precincts that the Cardinals were going to take the No Longer Good Enough For Us Platter of Lito Shepard and Reggie Brown for the rights to make Fitz wildly wealthy.
What we don't know, and never will, is whether or not the Cards would have pulled the trigger had the package been Sheldon Brown, or Kevin Curtis, or... shh... Donovan McNabb. I'd go farther into that, but it's not going to happen and I just made the blog read like sports talk radio, so I'm going to move on.
In an off-season where the Eagles' money wasn't green enough to get any of the WRs they might have been targeting (definitely Moss, probably Fitzy, and not so much for Berrian, Walker or Bruce)... well, this does take a little of the shine off the Samuel Clemons rose. It also doesn't seem like something they'd just take and pack a lunch over.
So, back to the next tier of guys that don't have to go anywhere, but might anyway... Roy Williams in Detroit, Torry Holt in St. Louis, and Chad Johnson in Cincy.
No one expects Reid to go down the Chad Path, given his past experience with Wideout Who Likes To Talk, not that I think that Johnson is anywhere close to the Great Satan that is TO. Holt may come cheaper than his name recognition, but he's older, can't stay healthy, and has never played outside a dome. I don't think they want him, and after letting Bruce go, the Rams probably aren't going to want to completely turn over the position. Which leaves Williams.
He's in the last year of his deal, and wants to get paid. He came close to saying he was out of there last year. Detroit has other WRs, and nothing else. If the Eagles came knocking with Shepard, Brown and a pick, that's an awful lot for a guy that might walk in a year, no matter what. (And let's face it, if the Lions belch up another double-digit loss year, he'd be crazy to stay.)
That's the good news. The bad news is that the Lions are, of course, fixated on WRs, and now that they finally have some, they probably won't just move them. They can franchise Williams. With Mike Martz's genius card being revoked, maybe Williams actually has some numbers this year, rather than running a lot of deep drag routes to clear the space for McDonald and Furrey. He's only had one really good year, his numbers may be inflated from playing in any number of pass-happy blowouts, and he hasn't always been healthy and a happy camper.
But well, he'd look a lot better to me than Reggie Brown. Maybe he makes the CBs better by giving them a Burress-esque WR to face every day in practice. And no, I'm not going to stop dreaming of Star WR in an Eagles uniform... or accept the idea that Kevin Curtis or Reggie Brown is that guy.
He's what the fan base deserves. (Another H/T to KSK, who have been really bringing the vids this off-season.)
Today, the Detroit Lions drafted a wide receiver in the first round for the fourth time in five years.
The team's record under GM Matt Millen is 24-72, the worst record in the NFL in that span, and the second-worst span in NFL history, behind only the expansion years for the Tampa Bay Bucs.
After the pick, Millen said -- and we are not making this up:
"Calvin Johnson is going to team with the rest of this offense and turn it into one of the most dynamic offenses in this league. I firmly believe that. You can scoff at it if you like. I really don't care, because I think it's going to happen."For the benefit the 28 remaining Lions fans that Millen hasn't killed, here's the FTT Top 10 list of things you can hope for this year. If any of them happen, Matt Millen could (note: *could*) actually be fired.
