Sunday, October 6, 2013

Eagles - Giants Takeaways

Haz Patches
> In general, starting road games with false start penalties is not to be encouraged

> WR DeSean Jackson failed to make a very makable catch on the first third and long, but at least QB Michael Vick had a clean pocket against a blitz

> CB Bradley Fletcher recovers, just barely, against WR Reuben Randle

> WR Hakeem Nicks gets the next big deep ball, because going deep against the Eagle secondary is always a good idea

> When RB Brandon Jacobs and David Wilson close you out, it's a case of a resistible force beating a movable object

> Between Wilson's double back flips and WR Victor Cruz's salsa dancing, the Giants lead the league in signature touchdown celebration asshattery

> Vick converts a third down as teams continue to give him the corner, mostly because they want him to expose himself to hits

> CB Will Hill gets an easy 15 yarder for leading with the helmet as Giant Fan and HC Tom Coughlin scream as if aggrieved by the refs

> On third and long at midfield, McCoy doesn't get enough, C Jason Kelce holds, the team takes a lot of clock and Kelly sharted

> Coughlin takes the flag rather than face a 4th and five that Kelly probably goes for, and Vick crushes that strategy by running for huge distance

> Not to put too fine a point on it, but that was  a game-changing play, and you can not expect Fox's analysts to consider the possibility that Coughlin was defending against fourth down, because that would involve actual thought and stuff

> Meanwhile, the drive actually stalls for real, which you might think is a more important thing to discuss

> Once again, the Eagles are the best offense imaginable between the 20s

> K Alex Henery connects, which given his recent struggles was not a given

> Given this secondary, I really don't know why anyone ever calls a running play against the Eagle defense

> The first good play for the Eagle defense was Manning falling on his butt to cause an intentional grounding call

> Wilson dropped a sideline fly that would have converted 2nd and 25; phew

> On third and 25, CB Cary Williams stops a slant after a 5-yard gain, and that entire drive could be summarized as Giants Stop Themselves

> STer Trumain McBride whiffs on a punt at the one, and that punt got the Giants very little

> Vick converts on a well-done keeper, as the Giant defense continues to be unaware that he can run

> S Antrelle Rolle gave the road team 15 extra yards for extreme idiocy by removing Celek's helmet

> Vick didn't complete a pass in the first quarter, not that his teammates helped very much with that

> If you are wondering where the tempo offense is, you are not alone

> P Donnie Jones did his job,  which is a nice change from last week

> Wilson got hurt and bailed out on a justifiable safety call to end the first quarter, because karma is more harsh than the refs

> Lo and behold, that's two straight stops by the Eagle defense, and the second one was actually their doing

> Vick to McCoy for an actual completion, with the RB hurtling a man for extra Woo action

> DL Mathias Kiwanuka goes down to stop any possibility of offensive tempo

> Vick to TE Zach Ertz to get into the red zone, and that was pretty, with good hands and everything

> Vick misses WR Jason Avant for another Red Zone Fail, and it says something about Eagle Fan expectations that we're all just grateful it wasn't a turnover

> Henery connects and it's 7-6

> Weak work by Nicks and Manning, and that's another, shocking, stop for the defense

> Vick to Jackson is a terrible ball that McBride's terrible INT whiff turns into a big gain, and yes, you are watching two teams that are a combined 1-7

> After that play and the earlier punt coverage fail, maybe McBride needs contacts or Lasix or something

> Vick keeps to set up first and goal, and he was lot more dangerous running than throwing today

> McCoy for the easy touchdown, and why they can't do that in the red zone more, we'll never know

> Kelly avoids trickery for the PAT, and it's 13-7 with the Return Of Angry Giant Fan

> Manning to Nicks for a couple of throws as the Eagles overload on Cruz

> RB Brandon Jacobs puts it on the ground as a complete unforced error, and that's turnover #17 in Game #5 for Big Blue

> Third and 3 after the turnover is huge, and McCoy just converts it with alacrity

> Vick with obvious hamstring issues at the end of a first down run is more proof that we can't have nice things

> Vick to Avant with actual accuracy to set up another third down, but he's still not looking in any way right

> Vick to McCoy with weak accuracy, and gets an uncalled cheap shot for funsies

> Henery connects to make it 16-7 with 2:38 left, and that's another (chant with me!) Red Zone Fail

> NY does Philly another favor with a poor kickoff return; time off clock and six less yards

> Manning almost throws a terrible TAInt, which would have been all kinds of booing awesome

> Fletcher with another pass defense on Randle, and gets the bonus of a possible injury on the WR

> On third and long, Manning benefits from a no-call on a hold and intentional grounding

> P Steve Weatherford with a great job to push it deep, and Vick returns despite being hobbled

> Vick's moving badly on a throwaway, and that's all for that: Nick Foles in

> Foles to McCoy to make third down manageable, then moves the sticks again as Jason Pierre-Paul goes down, proving that neither of these teams can have nice things

> On third and four, the Giants fail to cover McCoy again for another first down, because back up QBs never go to checkdowns for the RB before they get their feet wet

> Foles to Jackson sets up an easy field goal with a great throw, and after the make, it's 19-7, deafening boos for Big Blue, and yes, I've had worse times

> Another three and out for Blue, and Fox treats us to Angry Fan Pan

> Weatherford does a great job avoiding a punt block and hitting a deep ball out of bounds, and he's been their best player today

> Foles starts the second half, not surprisingly, and gets bailed out with a defensive flag

> Jackson's second drop of the day is a very good throw by Foles

> Foles to McCoy gets a first down, blows two timeouts for the Giants, confounds the Fox telecast team and makes me six kinds of happy

> Any time Foles wants to keep the ball on the read option, he's going to have all the room in the world to get three yards and a cloud of pain

> Foles to Celek for a helmet-losing crossing pattern gain, and while the rushing offense looks a lot worse without Vick, the passing game is a lot better

> Giants DT Mike Patterson ends McCoy and a drive, and keeps this a game

> Manning to TE Brandon Myers reminds everyone that, scoreboard be damned, opportunities against the Eagles zone defense are plentiful

> Cruz is really good at looking at the refs when he fails to make a catch

> Fox will continue to be outraged over the idea that Coughlin didn't get the replay overturned, or his first time out back, because just doing the replay challenge right away would be too hard

> Manning to Randle, who isn't hurt any more and, like everyone else who runs patterns downfield against this secondary, is open

> Cruz with a clear penalty, along with snapping the ball after zero, to turn 3rd and 2 into 3rd and 7

> After a third-down conversion by Nicks, then a simple cross for the score to Randle, the Giants are right back in it after thirty minutes of terrible football

> The Giants defense can also dance, which inspires LT Jason Peters to jump from crowd noise

> RB Bryce Brown is really good at running to the sidelines for no reason

> Foles to Brown for a missed screen and this game is going south with a quickness

> Foles to Jackson for meaningless yardage for the three and out, and showing my incredible prognostication powers, I said out loud that the Giants will lead this game after the next drive

> Perhaps not the best time to get away from McCoy and/or effective passing game there

> CB/STer Brandon Boykin adds 15 to a punt return, because the comeback just isn't easy enough for Big Blue yet

> Manning almost gives the game back with a batted ball near INT

> Cruz is covered on a deep ball that's out of bounds, which means Cruz gets to pule at the refs
.
> Cruz gets the DPI on Boykin on a reasonably borderline call, and that flag turns a 3 and out into a touchdown, so all hail Cruz for persistent and effective puling

> Manning to Cruz is inaccurate on second, and Manning has to take their final timeout on confusion before third down, which really didn't matter

> Manning to WR Jerelle Jernigan to move the sticks for another backbreaker

> Nicks doesn't make the play in the corner, and CB Cary Williams gets very lucky

> Manning to Randle again, and voila, that's massive defensive fail, with the fail-footed QB buying time against LB Trent Cole

> Foles to Jackson for the big DPI flag on CB Prince Imakmura, and that's pretty easy call

> Foles to Avant for another first down, and for the first time today, some actual offensive tempo

> Foles to WR Riley Cooper, who was wide open in the end zone, but the ball was too long

> Fox needs to show us Lonely Hurt Vick, rather than a close game or actual football, because Story is so much more important than Game

> Slow play on third and long as Johnson goes off, but Jackson makes a great catch to convert a cross for the first

> Two incompletions and a sack for DT Cullen Jenkins proves that Foles can have Red Zone Fail, too

> Henery draws it in from 41 for his fifth make of the day, and it's 22-21 with 16 minutes left

> For some reason, the Fox team seems to think that either of these teams has any right to be in the playoffs

> Manning gets away with more snaps after zero than any other QB in the NFL

> NT Isaac Sopaga made his first play in the laundry by stuffing Jacobs in a battle of has beens

> Manning got a grounding call when Jacobs failed to run a pattern

> On 3rd and 23, Manning to Jacobs for a screen fail and that was short bus special

> Weatherford with his first bad effort of the day, and with 14 minutes left, this is everyone's game to lose

> Blue gets a three and out as Avant doesn't catch two balls, then no one gets open, and yes, this team does still employ LeSean McCoy

> It's a shame that either team has to win this game

> STer Brandon Graham makes his case for deactivation with a false start

> Jones with a good punt at least, so that's something

> Manning to Randle for the simple slant that's there all damn day

> Manning with a terrible INT / fumble as LB Mychal Kendricks gets an absolute gift, and this was, really, the second to last play of the game

> Cole got away with a head slap on Manning before the gift, which will be another obsession moment for the Fox team

> Foles to Celek for the last meaningful play of the day, and holy mother, was that a strike and unreal catch by the TE to make it 29-21 with 10:26 left

> That's one way to avoid the red zone fail problem

> Manning with nearly another pick as he fixates on Randle, then misses Cruz who was, of course, open deep

> On third and 10, Boykin has his vengeance on a stunningly great INT against Cruz, and since 2013 is all about player development, that was all kinds of encouraging

> Foles to Jackson as Kelly says that clock killing is for wussies, but the accuracy is strong

> Foles finally keeps one and gets three yards while actually running clock

> Jackson owns Iwamakura for a possible killshot score, and that was Foles' second perfect touchdown strike of the fourth quarter

> That might be the best red zone play I've ever seen out of Jackson, who is notoriously awful there

> Rather than let the Eagle Fan enjoy a potential 0-5 Giants season, Fox needs to go to the QB Controversy

> Between his kickoffs and five made field goals, Henery is having a perfect day

> Manning to Cruz as the Giants go to the not very much hurry offense, and then Nicks stops a pattern to set up INT #3 and traffic issues in north New Jersey

> Once again, hosting the Super Bowl is a really bad idea for the home team

> Kelly actually ran a little clock, which was nice

> Jones had an absolutely perfect punt wiped out by his teammates committing three penalties at once for low comedy

> DE Vinny Curry forced the third grounding call on Manning today, all of which required committee meeting

> A sack against a three man rush on 3rd and 24 is a nice moment for DE Benny Logan

> Just in case anyone had any doubt about this. the Giants have completely quit on Coughlin, and he as well on them

> We've finally found a way to get Bryce Brown to not run out of bounds -- give him the ball with a 15-point lead and two minutes left

> Peters and Kiwanuka are no longer following each other on Twitter, and it adds another 15 yards in penalties to the final Blue total of, yikes, 136

> Kelly removed Peters after the brouhaha, showing his strong intellect

> Rather than worry too much about who the QB will be or how the team still shows such massive flaws, Eagle Fans should just take a moment to savor just how utterly and totally awful the Giants are, and that the world is going to spend a lot of time telling Eli Manning he sucks

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