Top 10 Reasons Why Chad Ochocinco Is Changing His Name Back To Chad Johnson

10) Now that Ron Artest became Metta World Peace, kind of understands how this sort of thing is just a bit, well, nuts

9) Secret bet lost with ex-Giant William James

8) Ochocinco just doesn't hyphenate well, and now that Those Sorts Of Marriage are becoming more legal, it's a consideration

7) Worried that, for some reason, his jersey just isn't selling the way it used to

6) The move ends the awful 96-hour news blackout that America has suffered through since his last public act

5) Coach Belichick tells him to do something or get cut five times a week, just for funsies

4) Convinced that Canton won't induct him with two names, and that this would be the only thing to stop his candidacy

3) Needed to do something to feed the Twitter beast, and as a blogger, I respect that need

2) Thinks that if he retires the name, won't have to retire the career

1) It's hard as hell to get people to talk about you when you catch 15 balls for 276 yards for the entire damned year