Sunday, August 9, 2009

Top 11 signs that this isn't the Red Sox's year

11) Keep relying on hitters that were good in a pre-testing or Twitter age

10) When Alex Rodriguez is actually hitting in the clutch, it's time to fold the tents and/or convert all funds to canned goods and ammunition

9) Tragically for liberal New England, championships in the 21st century can only occur during Bush presidencies

8) Perhaps bringing in ancient, injury-riddled pitchers from pitcher's parks in AAAA (aka, the National League) wasn't the best strategy

7) Might not have been the best idea to continue to plan to give a huge number of the catcher at-bats to a corpse

6) Far too many people, this writer included, were losing their life-long Yankee Hate from all of those Red Sox moments

5) In general, limiting your talent base to be Whites Only isn't the way to go

4) When your lights-out rookie reliever goes all Schiraldi on you in a must-win game against your hated rival... um, That's A Sign

3) Despite the overwhelming evidence of the past decade, God just hates Boston fans, much more than any other city, despite the fact that they deserve to win so much more due to the fact that They Just Care More Than Everyone Else

2) It's generally difficult to win baseball games when you score less often than Mathletes

1) As a rule, it's hard for it to be your year when you no better than the third-best team in the division

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I must protest! God hates Cleveland fans more than anyone else in the world!

davejb851 said...

I feel like I'm falling back to the 'Ol town team' of old syndrome. A great first half......followed by heartbreak!
Please say it isn't so!
And that crack about God hating Boston fans.....that can't be right. God loves those that suffer, even when it's someone else's fault.
Ya listening Theo?

Now seriously, it's great to have a first rate farm system, truly is. However, when the big team is made up of older, injury prone, slump ridden geritol chugging players, the farm is up for sale soon after the all-star break.
I looked at Tek, JD Drew, Wakefield, Lowell at the beginning of the season and wondered about the second half. Add Schmoltz, Penny, Saito, Delcarmen and oops!
Half the bullpen are ???'s and whozats? The starting rotation is a new Spahn and Sain..pray for rain, with Beckett and Lester, and fill in the ___________.
There's always next year!!

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