Sunday, June 8, 2008

Top 10 Changes If the NBA Took Over Horse Racing

10. Oversized jockey silks become next hot outfit in all the clubs.

9. The Kentucky Derby stays on the first weekend in May, but the Preakness is moved to the Fourth of July and the Belmont is scheduled for Labor Day weekend.

8. Big Brown fans appreciate that his fade at the end of the race improved his trainer and jockey's odds in next year's draft lottery.

7. Trainers encouraged to enter two-year-olds in the Derby.

6. New VitaminWater commercial shows Kent Desormeaux dribbling his way through defenders' legs to get to the basket.

5. A new racing circuit is established for fillies--but no one bets on it.

4. Tim Donaghy re-hired, promoted to Director of Operations.

3. Horrified by the thought of a sporting event being resolved in two minutes of uninterrupted action, the NBA adds two TV timeouts to each race. One is in the second turn and the other comes just before the home stretch.

2. The NBPA expresses "significant interest" in adapting the retirement plan available to top racehorces, while maintaining "grave reservations" about the strict requirements for documenting paternity.

1. Triple Crown records now list 1977 winner as "Oklahoma City Slew".

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