Everyone in for the double jinx

So in my preparation -- yes, I do prepare -- for tonight's Game Six diary, I've been going all over the Interwebs, reading the game previews. And the only thing that everyone is sure of is that neither of these teams are very good, in a good situation, or can win.

Boston? No chance. They've played 107 games this year, traveled to Europe and back, been taken to the edge by Atlanta and Cleveland, and everyone's hurt. Kendrick Perkins is all kinds of messed up with the ankle, but dammit, he'll go. Paul Pierce has Tiger Woods' knees -- which guy has milked his condition more in the last week? -- but dammit, he'll go. Rajon Rondo has an ankle problem that would have euthanized a lesser man, but dammit, he'll go. Ray Allen's kid is being tortured by Eurotrash terrorists that look like members of Vladimir Radmanovic's extended family... but, dammit, he'll try. Try, I tell you. It's a miracle, that so many obscenely wealthy men could have so much to overcome, isn't it? And such a coincidence that all of the Good Character Guys play for a media market that mouth jobs its athletes with both lips and hands while wearing frilly little costumes, isn't it?

Meanwhile, the Lakers? No chance. There's no injury problems to deal with -- being from a warm-weather site, they get *all* the breaks -- but since they are Euros and gutless and have the world's worst MVP ever in Kobe The Unpalatable, no one in their right mind can imagine them coming up with a big win against a hostile crowd. (A crowd that's so hostile, they've got thousands of dollars to spend on basketball tickets. Dammit, why are obscenely rich people so angry?) I picked them to win this series in five, and even I want them to lose at this point, even though it's going to make me do something horrible as a matter of my wager with The Truth.

Of course, this being the NBA, we have the counter to the Lakers Can't Win Argument... mainly that the Vast Right Ratings Conspiracy will use their wiliest, most dastardly, most nefarious referees this side of Dangerous Danny Davis (yes, that geek reference is both check and mate) to make sure that the Lake Show forces a Game Seven on the world.

And well... all I can say is... Jesus Shuttleworth with a Rambis, can you all just please get over yourselves?

As a Sixers fan, I knew that both franchises and media hordes were going to make everything but the ball regrettable in the Finals; that's increasingly true of all championships in every sport, but especially one that rolls out over as long a time period as the NBA's brouhaha. You've got Coke vs. Pepsi here, Yankees vs. Red Sox, Patriots vs. Cowboys -- in other words, the most regrettable fan bases and teams, with the most time and space to blather. (And no, this is not a posthumous fever dream for Spurs-Pistons. Yet.)

But y'all have well and truly outdone yourselves.

Imagine, just for a moment, that we can focus on the game. If you're a Laker fan, you're hoping that Bryant can finally get untracked, as James did before him in the Cavs series; good defense can stop a great offensive player from exploding, but he'll eventually figure out a plan of attack and adapt in a way that the defense can't correct. If Perkins is hobbled, Gasol has a chance to be more effective on both ends. Phil Jackson has won some games and rings in his life; maybe he'll finally try the novel approach of pressuring the Celtics' ballhandlers, the way that the Sixers, of all people, crushed the C's on their home floor in March, back when everyone thought they were invincible.

If you're a Celtics fan, you've got the same thoughts about Kevin Garnett that Laker Fan has about Bryant. You also have two chances at home to get one game, and to date, a far more effective bench. The smart money is with you. You might have been considered the underdog coming into this series, but you've been the better team for most of the 240 minutes played so far. You're up 3-2 for a reason. You're good, especially on defense, and even more so because Paul Pierce has been the best player on the floor in four out of five games.

That, really, is All You Need To Know. The rest of it is just noise, and despite all of the poor mouthing and my most fervent prayer, one of you has to win tonight. It might even happen without a Conspiracy.

So, game on. And from the other NBA fans out there, noting that the series has fair to middling ratings despite being the Biggest Thing In The History Of The Association / Universe? Um, OK. Whatever you little dears need to get you excited...