Top 10 ways Terrell Owens is being goaded by the media

10) Continually asked if he wants to knock a battery off their shoulder

9) Cameras are routinely turned on when he talks, for no good reason

8) Writers keep missing all of the good things he brings to the table, like, um, hold on, we'll think of something

7) Has to withstand the constant attention of tens of people in upstate New York

6) Made him film an extraordinarily unpopular reality show against his will

5) Keeps asking him if he wants to join in their fun game of throwing people under buses

4) Just like opposing cornerbacks, have no concept of personal space

3) Read his Twitter account, which is totally unfair, since that's just for the fans

2) Won't stop asking him if we're at a losing season yet

1) Just won't treat him like any other washed-up, butter-fingered, injury-prone team cancer that hasn't won a playoff game this century