Sign of the Apocalypse #3006 -- guys running around in superhero outfits for real, working to stop crime. Call me when you get costumed adversaries, boys, so that I know when I've got even bigger losers to mock... Howard Eskin is now pinching nipples. No, wait, actually worse: stealing them. And dressing up as a Star Trek nerd. Oddly, it doesn't really change the way I feel about him.
Nick Underhill does the Manny thing better than most. Your hero and mine, with, QUITE FRANKLY, the most important site on the Web. Everything he blogs is important! (And it must be, considering he's posted five times in the last six weeks.)
And finally, presented without undue comment, the top-ranked story on Ballhype this fine day. Hockey Fan sure does like it when the guys with the most pads throw down. Every mention has a video clip, and the blogger feels much shame.
Folks, I confess, Sean Avery is going to make me start caring about hockey again. But only if I get me some more of this.
Seriously, it's clearly the goalie's fault for being there. That, and being a goalie. Who doesn't want to hit those guys in the head with a stick, really? It's like going to a theme park and not setting a mascot on fire.
Perhaps the gift of the year (century?) for that guy in your fantasy league who always wastes your time with nonstop trade requests. Let him know that you're ready to support him in his good fight. This ranks right up there with an Owens or Favre jersey for Cowboys or Jets Fan...
Jose Reyes is the most exciting Spanish speaker in baseball. Now, if he had only followed up with, "Tell me how my ass tastes," he'd have won me over...
Major League Jerk with your WBC update, because we can't be bothered to watch the silly thing. But on the plus side, the USA punked Canada, and I can't stand those freaking Canucks evcer since the start-up with Canadian management, two start-ups ago. Screw you, hosers!
The Onion Sports Network debuts. I am ready for the intense heat of The Final Sweat... and deeply covet their production values. It looks like they took over the Lemur.
Next link is behind a firewall, so let me just clip the relevant bits here.
Google's global privacy counsel Peter Fleischer and three other executives are expected to appear in court in Milan on Tuesday to face criminal charges stemming from an offensive video uploaded to the company's site.
Fleischer and the other company officials are accused of criminal defamation and failing to control personal data, according to the International Association of Privacy Professionals. The executives face a maximum penalty of three years in jail.
The case stems from a 2006 incident in which a high school student posted a three-minute clip of himself and three others bullying a 17-year-old with Down syndrome. The clip, which went live in September, was taken down Nov. 7, within 24 hours of Google receiving complaints about it.
Consequently, for the health and safety of the blog, I'd like everyone from Italy to close their browser now, since your government is, um, completely freaking batshit. Can't you people get to work on hanging the prosecutor from his heels in the public square?
"Slapshot" is being remade, not as a straight to video sequel that can be easily ignored, but as a big budget monstrosity that Variety compares, favorably, to that Adam Sandler turdmake of "The Longest Yard." Just kill yourselves already. Please. For the children.
NESW is all over Gatorade's remake of "Monty Python and the Knights of the Round Table." This moves a sports drink.... how?
Prophet Fighting gave some love to a recent post of ours, so here's the give back. If you're down with the fisticuffs, this should be on your short list, and their profile of the late great Ingemar Johansson was nails. Ah, for the day when the world feared big Swedes.
Adam Best from Arrowhead Addict does the honors for the giving man and coach, Herm Edwards. To Eagle Fan of a certain age, he'll always be the guy picking up Joe Pisarcik's gift at the Meadowlands. (Eagle Fan, by the way, is the only town where Herm spent real time and has a fond memory of the guy...
Neate from Out of Left Field, your go-to site for Canadian action, produces the all-time Canadians team for Habs Haters. You always have to love when second and third generation guys stink.
Josh Q Public with the most recent goings-on from Old Friend John Rocker. It's a heart-warming story, provided that your heart is warmed by public drunken racism.
One For The Other Thumb, a Steeler blog with a very prophetic name, with the knowledge that Walrus Holmgren will be joining the Calvacade of Whimsy that is the NBC analysis tank at the Super Bowl. Seriously, suits? Tie this into your once-a-year greenwashing nonsense and have all of these blow holes in a clown car. You wouldn't have to heat anything, and if we're lucky, they'd eat each other. (Oh, and the sound that you heard was Steeler Fan with the pre-emptive gnashing of teeth, as the Walrus readies his "They're getting the calls from the refs, just like they did against us" bleat.)
The Gray Lady weights in on the recent hockey fight tragedy, and honestly, I know that Hockey Fan doesn't want to hear this, but... for decades now, the sports has been more or less disparaged for the sideshow. (And yes, yes, I know that the kid's death had more to do with a fluke equipment failure than the fight. But when you lie down with the bad practice and gets mixed with bad luck, you can not win about the fleas.)
No other major league sport mixes an amateur athletic element into its fully professional one, just as no one decides to stop watching the playoffs because they don't fight there. In my years of playing street hockey as a young'un, I also never saw guys drop the gloves and go at it, probably because (a) when your feet are on solid ground, you can honestly hurt someone, and (b) for heaven's sake, fighting in the middle of a hockey game is Big Stupid.
Now that there's been a death, Big Stupid has gone to Horrific Stupid.
In baseball, when there is a fatality, change happens. Ray Chapman in 1919 remains the only time that an MLB player has died on the field from a thrown pitch; it led to batting helmets, fresh baseballs in play more often, and 15 years later, lights. On some level, the MLB death produced Babe Ruth and changed the sport forever.
Given that the team that suffered the fatality has already dropped the gloves since, to the same effect from the fans... well, Hockey Fan, I get that you don't really care anymore about mainstream acceptance. That's good.
The Hanson Brothers are back, and who better to whip a ragtag youth team into shape for the upcoming championships than the most unpredictable trio ever to strap on skates? Time is running short before the big game, but perhaps if the Hanson Brothers can teach their young protégés the true value of a solid check, these inexperienced underdogs can use brutality to their advantage and finally score a winning goal. Hockey legends Mark Messier and Doug Gilmour} take the ice for a rowdy sports comedy featuring Leslie Nielsen. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide
The GOP Vice-Presidential nominee said at an earlier fundraiser that she would stop some of the booing from the rowdy Philadelphia fans by putting her seven year old daughter, Piper in a Flyers jersey. She said, "How dare they boo Piper!"
Um, lady? We dare. Now, back to the ash heap of history with you, please...
Philadelphia, PA – October 8, 2008) Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, the nation’s most popular hockey mom, will join the winner of the Philadelphia Flyers regional search for the “Ultimate Hockey Mom” contest and drop the puck at the ceremonial opening face-off as the home team Flyers host the New York Rangers at the Wachovia Center on Saturday, October 11 at 7 p.m.
Now, hockey fans are whiter and more Republican than most... but Pennsylvania's trending 15 points Democratic in recent polls, and, well...
WE BOO EVERYTHING AND EVERYBODY HERE, YA FREAKING MORONS
Watch for the glazed smile and the dogged refusal to notice anything going wrong...
I missed this while dealing with other stuff, but Paul Newman died today, at 83 years of age. I could talk about his charitable works, his ability to piss off Richard Nixon and Joe Lieberman, his longtime marriage despite being a Hollywood guy who probably had any number of opportunities to mess around... but this is a sports blog, so the important thing is to note that he stars in the best sports movie ever made, "Slapshot."
No, I'm not interested in arguing about this. Slapshot is the best sports movie ever made.
Now, I know that it's two different movies in one, and that a grimy character study of a small town turns into a slapstick flick when the Hanson Brothers show up. I'm also aware that Newman did many better movies than this one, and that there are people -- wrong people, of course -- who would prefer "Hooisers", "Rocky", "The Natural", "Field of Dreams" or "He Got Game."
But well, comedy always gets short shrift when it comes to the ranking of entertainment, and it really shouldn't. It is harder, I believe, to make someone laugh than it is to make someone sad... and Newman made you do both.
This site doesn't say much about hockey, of course, but it should be noted... the Red Wings had their Stanley Cup merchandise released before clinching, which is one of the great karmic no-nos. They also clinched tonight.
So, keep it in mind the next time this happens, because you know that it will...
Picked up Cristobal Huet from the Canadiens for a second-round pick in '09. Huet was the #1 but is a free agent at the end of the season; it looks like the Habs decided that 20-year-old Carey Price is the future, and the future is now. Kolzig was in net tonight and saved 34/35 in a win over the Wild, but the future for Olie the Goalie now looks to be out of town.
Also traded the rights to Notre Dame freshman Ted Ruth (Our Lady has hockey? Who knew?) for Sergei Fedorov (He was playing in Columbus--who knew?!). The hope is that Fedorov will strengthen the second line; at any rate, he adds veteran experience and can talk to Ovechkin in his native tongue.
And in the Disappointing Matt Exchange department, they sent Pettinger to Vancouver for Cooke.
Carolina pulled out an OT win over the Devils keeping the Caps five points out of the Southeast division lead and three seed, though the Canes have played two more games. Three points and two teams still sit between the Caps and the eight seed; the division is likely the easier target.
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Sign of the Apocalypse #3006 -- guys running around in superhero outfits for real, working to stop crime. Call me when you get costumed adversaries, boys, so that I know when I've got even bigger losers to mock...
