Top 10 reasons to root for Argentina in the World Cup Final

Too Late, We're Crying

10) Gives every future host country a clear and intense warning about how the FIFA Money Rape might not be the end of their misery

9) Lionel Messi seems to be the only star goal scorer in futbol who isn't someone you want to beat to death with a claw hammer

8) Might help more people in the U.S. learn where Argentina is

7) Honestly, have every right to the Malvinas Islands

6) If you hate this sport and the attention it's been getting, yesterday's 0-0 win should have made you very, very happy

5) If this team wins, that cheating bastard Diego Maradona might finally be relegated to something less than Absolute Local Deity status

4) Actually play spectacularly effective defense, unlike many of the teams in this tournament

3) America First kind of implies South America, too

2) If they win, they might finally become known for something more than "Evita"

1) Rooting for Germany is like rooting for the house at a casino, machines against nature, and the onset of winter and age