Top 10 reasons why Dwight Howard is joining the Rockets

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10) Rejecting Kobe Bryant is far more fun than playing with Kobe Bryant

9) Pretty sure that he can blame any future losses on James Harden

8) Hakeem Olajuwon promised to teach him how to convince LeBron James to take up baseball

7) Had to prove that the analytic-driven Rockets management is as prone as anyone else to Big Man Myopia

6) Taking $30 million less is a small price to pay to get the hell away from Mike D'Antoni

5) Reasonably certain that he's going to be the best center in his city again, assuming Omer Asik is leaving

4) Wanted to make certain that everyone knows that the Magic won last year's trade, in that they are the only team to still have anything left from the deal on the roster

3) It's going to be so much more surprising now when he requests a trade in 12 to 18 months

2) Now that fan bases on both coasts hate him, it's time to work on the heartland

1) Can't wait to join a young, up-tempo, exciting, three point shooting team and make them older, disjointed, unwatchable and disappointing