Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Top 10 reasons why Plaxico Burress wants to be a Philadelphia Eagle

"Nothing else would make me happier," says the WR. What are the real reasons why he wants to come here?

10) Some how thinks he can beat the high bar set by the last ex-Giants WR who came here, Steve Smith

9) Knows that if he plays badly, Andy Reid will still service him with a vengeance

8) With Michael Vick on the team, it's not as if the roster could get any more unlikable, and he'd have someone to share jail stories with

7) Might, just might, be better than Jason Avant or Riley Cooper, in that he's actually been good at some point in his career

6) It's rare that a guy with 45 catches for 612 yards can name his own team

5) Really, really hates Brent Celek and LeSean McCoy, as well as all of their fantasy owners

4) Talks once or twice a week with Vick right now, and never really gets enough time in the conversation to delve into the more esoteric points and facets of astrophysics, neurosciences, and Eastern philosophy

3) As a guy who actually runs precise routes, mostly because he no longer has any real foot speed, would be unique to the roster

2) After watching what the Eagles paid Smith last year, we can pretty much count on every high-priced past his prime WR wanting to come sit with the softest marks in the league

1) Pretty sure that Eagle Fan would never, ever boo him, hold his past against him, or make unkind remarks, since we have no memory and a blind love for all of Coach For Life Reid's decisions

2 comments:

snd_dsgnr said...

Honestly, I think you could do a lot worse for what he's likely to cost. If nothing else he's a big target in the red zone, and it's not exactly like the Eagles set the world on fire in those situations last season.

DMtShooter said...

It's more what he represents -- diminishing returns, patchwork staffing, another guy that's about as much fun to root for as a toothache -- than what he is.

And fixing the red zone offense by getting a tall WR is cart before the horse. The QB just might not be tall enough, and he's certainly not known for his accuracy... and he's not getting any faster.