Top 10 destinations for Carmelo Anthony

10) New Jersey. It's all just a double bluff with a Russian subterfuge, people! Besides, they are still able to give more than just about anyone else. They also really need to move Chauncey Billups so they can give Ty Lawson the keys to the car, and there's no better time to get rid of Chaunce then with Melo. Basically, all of the good players out of the pool at once. And that still means Jersey, with Rip Hamilton from Detroit.

9) Chicago. Another place that he wants to be, but the trouble is that the Bulls don't really have parts they can move for him that makes sense. If Luol Deng were better, that would be the easy piece to move for him... but if Deng were better, they wouldn't need to trade for Melo in the first place. And no one is that interested in Kyle Korver.

If the Association gives the Nuggets the silent treatment, he could go there for a low price and seriously change the way things are in the East. But the biggest problem from making this move is that Chicago is already locked into winning the Central, and might think that they've got enough without him. They just might.

8) Miami. Just accept it, NBA, and create the most unlikable team ever! 'Melo to Miami would actually make that team less likely to win, since he'd just take up shots with no natural position, and the Heat have nothing that's tradeable that the Nuggets would want. But it's still fun to think about.

7) Charlotte. Don't think that Michael Jordan wouldn't be interested in taking a shot at some big time relevance, and the 'Cats seem interested in moving Gerald Wallace or Stephen Jackson. It's impossible to imagine him staying here past the end of the season, but a cheap rental and a playoff series might be worth it to them.

6) Washington. It's as close to local to Melo's hometown as he can get, and the Wiz does play up-tempo, with rookie guard John Wall able to give him a running mate. Sure, it's another way to get to the 40 to 45 win treadmill that they will never escape, but it's not as if every team in the Association can be a serious contender.

5) Portland. Tradeable pieces, lacking a closer now that Brandon Roy is on the shelf, in a market that would worship him as a god. Plus, the Denver fan base gets to boo him much more often, and every good Blazer goes down with knee issues. It's a win for all concerned!

4) Phoenix. They can't be serious about the Vince Carter Era, can they? They need someone to take the baton from Steve Nash, and with the Pacific looking suddenly vulnerable with the Lakers showing weakness, they might decide to stay in the game. The training staff's ability to keep people healthy could also keep things interesting.

3) Houston. Plenty of reasonable pieces, an organization that's not afraid to make deals, and they know -- oh, Lord, do they know -- how much they need a star player to get them past .500 and crunch-time losses. Texas has no income tax, it's warm, and they might be able to impress Team Melo into buying in. There are many, many worse places for him to be.

2) Clippers. Sure, they have the worst owner in professional sports, and a dynamic young nucleus that will eventually be ruined by, well, the worst owner in professional sports. But since Little Prince Willy Simmons is a Clippers season ticket holder, they need to make this move, right? (And in all seriousness, an established scorer would be just what they need, not to mention a win in the LA market. Besides, since his wife is a celeb wannabee, and those all wind up in El Lay, don't they?)

1) New York. He wants to go there, and this is the NBA. Don't the players always get what they want? Send them Landry Fields, Eddy Curry's expiring contract, and enough first round picks to make it happen, and welcome the Knicks back into top-drawer relevance in the Atlantic. Besides, the Celtics need an actual regular season rival, don't they?