Top 10 changes for the Cubs in bankruptcy

10. Ryan Theriot has to switch to store brand cereal and juice boxes

9. Geovany Soto to go in the tank and limit his arbitration earnings

8. Carlos Zambrano can only destroy water coolers instead of Gatorade dispensers

7. Team HMO to no longer pay for Milton Bradley's crazy pills

6. Kosuke Fukudome to be paid in yen (and still be wildly overpaid)

5. Lou Pinella to keep doing that "Relief Pitcher / Outfielder" move to cut down the overall roster size

4. Try very hard not to sign any more 33 year old leadoff hitters with sub .300 on base averages to $17 million a year contracts

3. Auction off the closer role to Carlos Marmol's desperate fantasy owners

2. Convince the insurance company that how Ryan Dempster hurt himself was an act of God

1. No longer going to pay to have Steve Bartman stalked, ostracized and audited