Top 10 April Fool Sports Blogger Tricks

10. The Design Change. Wow, the blog sure looks different with all of the pinks, sparkles and unicorns, doesn't it? This in no way reflects some deeper truth about myself. It's just fun!

9. The usual nose grind. How could anyone possibly notice this small moment in the calendar, when there are *so many* sports going on right now that will make us all go weak in the knees? Dammit, between the NCAAs, NBA, NHL and MLB, I can barely remember to wipe. What's wrong with all of these other bloggers to notice anything from outside of the arena?

8. Linky regret. Crap, we forgot all about this quasi-holiday, but luckily, these six other blogs didn't, so go click. Next year, we'll have our act together, and then, you shall know the force of our wackiness!

7. Life Change. The blogger is moving! Or getting a sex change. Or taking up religion, or maybe, and this is really good, *all three at once*. Is your mind blown?

6. Grumpus. A sniff-tastic piece that not only tells the reader that the blog is about Such Foolishness, but that if you like that sort of thing, you are Wrong. (Note: this entry and post is in no way like that. Really.)

5. Scoops. Despite the fact that this blog is always about analysis and breaks no news of its own, I've got the grist on an incredible new story, complete with a Photoshop-riffic image. Take it as true!

4. Guest Writer. Do you find it suspicious in any way that a new writer is on the blog today, and that he or she writes in a highly affected way, perhaps with an overstated dialect? I know I don't.

3. Sidd Finch. Sure, the SI piece ran 24 years ago and wasn't really all that funny, author George Plimpton is dead and no one really read the follow-up book. But, um, woo. How about it?

2. Dork Harder. Nothing quite says April Fool like a highly detailed, trying too hard piece that sells the benefit of a new statistic with a wacky acronym. If you are very lucky, eggheads will take it seriously and run with it. LOOGY, anyone?

1. The Death Notice. Goodbye, cruel indifferent world that doesn't give me the traffic or ad revenue that I so justly deserve. I'm out of here, and the blog is going to lay fallow and collect dust while I do not, under any circumstance, check the page every few hours so that I can eavesdrop on my eulogy.

And just to prove my point, here's a gratuitous insult to show you how I'm really burning the bridge behind me. Take that!