Boy, Yankee Fan sure knows how to chant and feel humiliated, don't they? Here's what happens when a giveaway goes wrong. Fun branding moment... and that was *before* the 10-2 pounding they took from the Indians.
In other news, RC Cola tried to give out tickets to a Natinals game, but despite having no soda or tickets, no chants. There's a philosophy joke here, which just goes to show you, no one likes philosophy jokes.
Courtesy of DC Sports Blog, proof that your 1-10 NL East punching bag loses beyond the diamond. Can we just have them go back to the Expos unis and look, since that had, you know, fewer letters?
In Miami today, the utter geniuses who run the Nationals have decided to take what might be their most talented hitter, and clearly their most unhinged, and put him on the bench. That would be Elijah Dukes, whose past history includes a trade away from the team that drafted him (Tampa), mostly because of, well, the assault and battery.
But hey, they must have a really good reason to make this fine fellow ride pine, right? Well, sure. I mean, it's not everyday that you get the chance to play Austin Kearns. Oh, wait, actually, you do, because this is what Austin Kearns has done in the past three years of use in MLB.
2006 -- .830 OPS on 537 ABs, .265, 24 HRs and 86 RBIs
2007 -- .765 OPS on 587 ABs, .266, 16 HRs and 74 RBIs
2008 -- .627 OPS on 313 ABs, .217, 7 HRs and 32 RBIs
Let's put it this way; he's held in such regard by the baseball fans of the world, he's owned in 1% of the fantasy baseball leagues in Yahoo. That number hasn't gone up appreciably since it was announced that he has the starting job.
Oh, and he's 28 already. In short, Kearns is lucky to be in the major leagues, assuming that Washington qualifies, let alone have a starting job. I think we all know that when you have diminishing returns in three straight years, and now hit like a backup catcher despite playing a corner outfield position... well, you shouldn't be in a starting position. Ever.
Here's Dukes, by comparison.
2007 - .709 OPS on 184 ABs, .190, 10 HRs and 21 RBIs
2008 -- .864 OPS on 276 ABs, .264, 13 HRs and 44 RBIs (oh, and also 13 steals, which is half of Kearns' lifetime total)
Dukes is also 5 years younger than Kearns. Now, why did the Nats go this way?
Well, Kearns outplayed Dukes in spring training.
No, I'm not kidding.
Um, since when does a few weeks of at bats trump many, many years of non-production, let alone the vast difference in potential that being four years younger and in the major leagues involves?
Not to put too fine a point on it, but Dukes is actually talented. He'd have to be to make up for his past history and other fine moments of Mensa membership. Kearns? Maybe five years and many, many injuries ago, you make this move. Today, it starts as dumb and, if the Nats are very, very lucky and Dukes has somehow added some composure to his makeup, goes no further.
And in other news, the Nattys got the stuffing pounded out of them by the Marlins, with Kearns going 1 for 4 with an RBI, and Dukes registering a pinch-hit strikeout in ninth inning of what wound up being a 12-6 Natty loss.
I put the over/under on some kind of Incident at, oh, three days...
Not since the start of the Kyle Lohse Era in Philadelphia have I been more entranced by a pitcher coming to a new team...
“Why did I sign with the Nationals? When you go to a club at 4 in the morning, and you’re just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J-Lo. And to me this is Jennifer Lopez right here. It’s 4 in the morning. Too much to drink. So, Nationals: Jennifer Lopez to me.” - Julian TavarezIt's March, folks, and we already have the Quote of the Year in MLB. Golf clap, Julian, golf clap.
“[Owens] thanks the Cowboys organization for releasing him and adding to his bank account.” -T.O.’s agent Drew Rosenhaus, as reported in the Dallas Morning NewsAnd yes, that one goes to the remaining 12 Terrible Apologists on the planet, all of whom have him on their fantasy league team but not their real one. Just on the off chance that you were wondering what the man was really all about, or whether his fine sense of personal judgment was limited to just the occasional harmless mistake. Nothing but class.
The Lemur has decided that we need to see the current 30% approved resident of the White House on their signature broadcast, Nationals-Braves, to hang out with Miller and Morgan.
I'd tell you more about what was said here, but the self-induced pounding on my head made it hard to think about...
Other than, of course, Miller doing the mouth job by telling about how much Shrub loves MLB. Um, do the research, scumbags. Shrub loved the opportunity to make an ungodly amount of money using the team's "need" for a new stadium to make a fortune in a corrupt land grab.
Perhaps sensing the need to get away, both the Braves and Nationals made a lot of first-pitch outs to try to get this off the air quickly...
Oh, and nice move by Shrub to continue to deny that he's, well, from Connecticut... and he's not interested in buying a new team. And the first home run in the history of the stadium was hit by Larry Jones (some may know him as Chipper) off Odalis Perez, and narrated by Shrub with a delivery that called to mind the excitable tones of, say, Joe Buck on downers. (Yes, I know, he's off the drugs now, honest and for true. Yay!)
Next, they talked about exposing inner city kids to baseball, to bring it back in those areas. Hey, how about providing decent jobs for lower income people, so that parents can afford to get their kids in programs, or have the ability to not work two and three jobs, preventing them from going to see their kids games? Or, you know, provide secure places to live and... oh, I give up.
Anyway, a million laughs were had, all at the expense of the American people. Good times!
Updated... here's the video clip. Note the booing, and the mouth job that Miller gives immediately afterward to help cover up the booing...
Tonight, John Smoltz took a no-hitter into the 8th. An idiot took the field and ran around it for ten minutes before security finally brought him down. This is what it looks like, by the way, when they finally catch the guy...
