Top 10 things that Carlos Zambrano will do in the next 30 Days

With his recent latest meltdown, the Cubs' salary albatross was placed on the restricted list and will not return to the club for a month of non-payment, at least until the player's union gets Bud Selig and Jim Hendry's nuts in a vise. What will The Big Los(er) do with the time off?

10) Switch jobs with Morgan Spurlock, just so we can all enjoy the high-larity of a film crew having to deal with him, and Spurlock posting a lower ERA

9) Finally let himself go and eat what he wants

8) Get a small glimpse into what life will be like when he isn't making $18 million a year

7) Disguise his voice, call sports talk radio, and remind the town's increasingly football-only sports fans that he continues to exist

6) Work on his hitting some more, since that's the best part of his game now

5) Anger management, colonic cleansing, lather, rinse, repeat

4) Bill the sports bloggers of the greater Chicago area for all of the fodder he's given them over the years

3) Find a better way to break bats, coolers, hearts and minds

2) Try to remind Cubs Fan of all of the good times, in that we're fairly certain there have been some

1) Drunk dial Lou Pinella and cry