Top 10 reasons why Kevin Durant is going to Turkey

10) Wants to see what it would be like to be on a team where the point guard gives you the ball

9) The last time he was there, it worked out well, and they gave him a gold medal and everything

8) Unlike the Rucker games, the Turks know how to provide security

7) After years of living in Oklahoma City, he's ready to go live in a big city with a better standard of life

6) Enjoys punking Kobe Bryant, since the Mamba was supposed to get this gig

5) Sees himself as the spiritual hoops descendant of Constantine and Attaturk, because he's deep and stuff

4) All part of the master plan of being a Knight Templar

3) Thinks that if he agrees to play there, they'll go back to calling it Constantinople, thoroughly messing up They Might Be Giants

2) Knows that his well-publicized Christianity will play well in a society where militant Islam is only tenuously held in check by a coup d'etatastic government

1) Turkey, unlike the United States, has a solvent men's professional basketball league