Thursday's Fantasy Football Takeaways

Once again, folks, I read the craptastic newsletters and sites so you don't have to. Here's what hit the wire today!

10) Marques Colston misses fifth of six practice days

So long as I get to put him at TE in my Yahoo game, he's still draftable. What?

9) Arizona RB Ryan Williams is impressive

In that he's not Beanie Wells. That's always a recipe for playing time in Arizona.

8) WR Johnny Knox listed as backup in Chicago

Hey, they have Roy Williams now. What more could you want? Right, any other player than Roy Williams.

7) Rex Grossman is the starter for your NFC East winning Washington Redskins

No, seriously.

You want to live in Rex's world. Hookers are free, candy is better for you than vegetables, and arm punt interceptions are counted as special teams plays. Oh, and the Redskins aren't the clear bottom-feeder, and aren't owned by a bigger cancer than pancreatic. (Or that the Daniel is a performance artist. Either will do.)

6) Green Bay TE Jermichael Finley has a glute contusion

Honestly, you want to know more about this? Freaking pervert. There really isn't a good reason to go more into this, other than to wonder why

5) The Broncos will be cautious with WR Brandon Lloyd

Because when a guy has had one great year out of five, and might be the only good WR in town, you coddle him. Especially when his QBs are an embattled neckbeard, a guy who wasn't able to win a job in Cleveland, and the most open-ended gadget play in Christiandom. Roll them dice, gamers.

4) Reggie Bush listed as the starting RB in Miami

And the countdown to his next devastating injury starts... now. Fish Fan, you are going to miss the stalwart injury history of Ronnie Brown. Soon.

3) Cardinals QB Kevin Kolb is going to play a lot

And watch his average draft position go all over the place. Just remember, folks, that preseason numbers are not exactly a perfect predictor of future success. Or I wouldn't still be cursing the name of CJ Spiller.

2) Eagles WR DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin won't play in the first preseason game

Neither is of any surprise, but Maclin's continued absence is just creating all kinds of unhappy rumor here in BirdLand, and making everyone happy about the Steve Smith signing as a fallback. It would be best, of course, if all of them were on the field at once for Team Green and Vick's owners, and for less than the full complement for any individual WR owner, since this is looking like another Saints Circus Situation where you don't know who to own.

1) Cowboys QB Tony Romo said to be looking good in camp

The Cowboys never lose in August, and Romo's usually aces until the second half of the year. Use accordingly.