Top 10 reasons why the Blazers tendered Greg Oden

10) It's not as if Paul Allen routinely spends money with any sense

9) Even at his most injured, Oden moves better laterally than Joel Pryzbilla

8) Marcus Camby can't give him all of his injuries forever

7) It's not like you can just find centers who will give you 9 and 7 a game with foul problems and no offensive prowess

6) One look in his big, sad, soulful eyes and they were as weak as kittens

5) Just don't have enough sad with Brandon Roy on the roster, so they had to double down

4) This will allow the Blazers to match any other offer that Oden gets, and the poor deluded dears actually thought there would be other offers

3) Want the eventual historical footnote to passing on Kevin Durant (Kevin Durant!) to seem a little more poignant

2) He's still just 23, as if you could possibly believe that

1) Convinced that modern medical advances, cybertronics and voodoo will finally let him play more than 50 games in a year