Top 10 MLB Opening Weekend Takeaways

10) Evan Longoria is out for 3 weeks from injuries sustained while trying to retrieve his hat

9) The defending champion Giants lost three out of four games while playing defense like anemic pandas

8) The Orioles swept the Rays in Tampa to take the AL East lead, proving that Buck Showalter needs to insult more divisional opponents

7) Ian Kinsler would like to tell all of those people who had him as a bust what exactly they should suck, and the amount in which to do it

6) Milwaukee's investment in starting pitching hasn't exactly led to a hot start

5) We're not saying it's too early to draw conclusions, but the second-best player in fantasy baseball in 2011 is J.P. Arencibia, and Jack Hannahan is in the top 25

4) Someone in Atlanta might want to wake up Martin Prado and tell him that 0-for-14 from the leadoff spot is no way to keep an outfield job

3) If you didn't get stud starters like Kyle Drabek, Travis Wood and Ricky Romero, and closers like Brandon League and Sean Burnett, you are hosed

2) Boston Fan is taking the team's worst start in 15 years, and 10.57 starting pitcher ERA, with their usual head in the oven poise

1) The Phillies' magic number is 159