Sixers - Heat Game One: Fun Then Really Not

> To start the game, Doc Rivers decided that the corpse of Deandre Jordan, who has not been good at any point in his time in this laundry and who played just a few seconds in the last series, needed to start. Miami took a big early lead and every Sixer fan remembered why they hate Doc Rivers.

> But after some of the better minutes of Paul Reed's short career, as well as some downright manly work by Tobias Harris, the Sixers actually led at the half by one. They also should have led by more, but two terrible calls took three free throws away from James Harden, and gave three free throws to Tyler Herro.

> After three quarters of a road game where they couldn't rebound or make a three pointer while missing their best player, the Sixers were down 8. The fact that this game was close for as long as it was tells you Miami's ceiling isn't past the next round.

> And in the fourth, the game went to Sweet Georgia Brown mode, as the Sixers hoisted up no-chance 3-pointers and gave up every second-chance bucket that Miami could hope for. 

> Full marks for Harris, who still doesn't rebound or get enough loose balls, but does everything else really, really well. Why Doc Rivers couldn't stick with the smallball 5 lineup with him that worked in the first half, we'll never know; it's not like the Philly bigs were rebounding or defending worth a damn.

> If you were hoping for an old-time Harden game in this one, um, nope. He just doesn't have it in him at this point in his career, at least not without an actual big threat to pass to, and no, the dunk or two a game that Jordan might manage does not count.

> George Niang was the worst Sixer on the floor on a night where Jordan and Paul Milsap played minutes that mattered. That's hard to do.

> Paul Reed is totes adorable, but he can't stay on the floor because he tries for everything and gets whistled for looking weird. Bless his heart, he is an actual basketball player and if Rivers had given him 800 minutes this year this might be better by now, but nope, we had to see what we had in Jordan and Milsap. FFS.

> An actual Charles Bassey sighting late! Next game, make him the back up to Reed and play five guys with a pulse, rather than Nobody Mind The Zombie Minutes (aka, Jordan and Milsap). And if Rivers had put Bassey in at the same time he entered this game in Toronto, they would have had Joel Embiid in the same state as the rest of the team tonight. Not that I'm bitter with really good reason.

> The next game is Wednesday, where Bam Adebayo will continue to feast on scrubs, Tyler Herro will continue to show that Matisse Thybulle is less than worthless now, and Rivers will play the entire roster without regard to eyesight, just so he can say he tried everything. Can't wait!