Top 12 reasons why Jason Kidd might go to the Bucks, rather than stay with the Nets

Have Bald Head, Will Travel

12) As a guy with a spousal abuse and DUI on his record who spent time on five different teams despite being a Hall of Famer, is always ready to pack a bag

11) The Nets aren't giving him a promotion, and keep asking about those TPS reports

10) He doesn't understand why Doc Rivers has more power than him, since he was a much better player

9) Would like to see what it's like to coach players who he didn't play with before the millennium

8) Having been the best player on Nets teams that went to the Finals, and the coach of a team that went two rounds deep, while the Knicks failed to qualify and still got the most media, just has to rankle

7) Is a secret Mormom and feels compelled to coach Jabari Parker

6) Doesn't seem to think that being a second round doormat in a weak conference is likely to keep him employed for a mad Russian oligarch for very long

5) Billy King, the team's GM since 2010, has a long and storied history of, well, being Billy King

4) Wants more responsibility and doesn't care that he has to live in freaking Milwaukee to get it

3) Thinks the Bucks are ripe for a move to Seattle, and he might as well get in early

2) It's still the lEast, which means it's till criminally easy to win 45 games, go to the playoffs, and get some clueless Coach of the Year consideration

1) Like anyone else who has lived in Brooklyn for a year, can't wait to get the hell away from all of the goddamned hipsters