Top 10 reasons why the Brooklyn Nets fired Avery Johnson

November was so, so long ago

10) Realized that was, in fact, his real voice

9) A .500 record isn't bad enough to earn the ironic like of the borough's hipsters

8) He kept inspiring the Knicks to actually be good

7) Made Deron Williams miss all of those shots in some clearly faulty strategy

6) That coach of the month award was, like, so 24 days ago

5) Insists on dipping Brook Lopez in rebound-repellent oil before every game for that extra shine

4) Little-known clause for all .500 pro coaches on the YES Network

3) The franchise is the only people in the western world that really missed Avery's studio work on ESPN

2) Just realized that it was Christmas a couple of days ago, and they forgot to get the fans anything

1) You can take the franchise out of New Jersey, but you can't take the New Jersey out of the franchise