Thursday, March 17, 2011

Top 10 takeaways from the Fab Five and Duke Dustup

10) When Jalen Rose confesses to a negative opinion he had of Duke when he was 17 years old, it's naturally reflective of what he feels today as a 40-year-old with a $100 million playing career

9) The fact that people still seem to care about this might tell you how much the world loves Duke, and how "Uncle Tom" has now officially replaced the N-word as the worst thing you can call a black man

8) Grant Hill wants you to know that, independent of Rose's feelings as a bitter 17-year-old, black people went to Duke, too, so there

7) Bobby Hurley, Jimmy King, Ray Jackson and many others from that era are available to speak on your radio broadcast, boat and auto show and senior center bingo night

6) There is nothing that ESPN enjoys more than televising not sports that gets ratings, then watching the not sports create more not sports for more ratings

5) For people who win as much as they do, Duke players sure do seem to need to remind people about the scoreboard, rather than, say, their relative lack of NBA success

4) You can pretty much say any negative thing you want about Duke, and people will be happy to agree with it (as an example, Christian Laettner huffs fetuses)

3) If the current men's team somehow loses in the tournament, this will somehow be blamed for it

2) At least it's a Duke story that doesn't in any way involve lacrosse, so they've got that going for them

1) Since the NCAA decreed that the Fab Five broke the rules, it's hard to understand why anyone even remembers anything that happened back then

1 comment:

Tracer Bullet said...

"Uncle Tom" is the worst thing one black man can call another. So don't go getting ideas there, whitey.

When reached for comment, Bobby Hurley said, "AAAAAAAAHHHH. TRUCK!"