Showing posts with label Nicknames. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nicknames. Show all posts

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Once again, FTT predicts the future

Noted today: Adam Jones no longer wants to be known by that oh-so-disagreeable "Pac Man" moniker, just as we pointed out in our 12-step Pac Man Plan, published three full weeks ago. Proving, yet again, that when you read FTT today, you don't have to read the mainstream media in a few weeks. (Unless, of course, you want to make sure you don't look like a total idiot.)

"My mom is going to call me 'Pacman.' That is what it is. I can't change that," Jones said. "I'm not saying that my teammates won't call 'Pacman' on the field. But for the most part, I want to be Adam or Mr. Jones."
Personally, I'm all for the change, but I've always been a big Dylan fan, and even the Counting Crows song is kinda good. Perhaps NFL fans can serenade him after his inevitable Jerry Jones-arranged reinstatement...



When everybody loves you, you can never be lonely... or when you've got loose bills in the strip club. That works, too.



This one's nearly six minutes long and doesn't have any visuals, but I'm including it anyway because Bob just works for me. You've been warned.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Epic Drop: Top 10 MLB Nicknames That Aren't Real, But Should Be

Your list is here, and really, if we are now in a brave new world of interactivity, waiting for actual MLB players to gloss themselves is so last century. Besides, it's one more way for the sports blogosphere to emasculate sportswriters! (Your image is Robert "Death to Flying Things" Ferguson. Now that, dammit, is a nickname.)

Friday, August 3, 2007

Non-Profane Insulting Nicknames for the Upcoming NFL Season: NFC Edition

In an increasingly sensitive world where strong language can get you thrown out from a bar or stadium, how do you adequately express your distaste for the other team's fans without attracting the attention of Mr. Law?

Five Tool Tool is here to help with 100% non-profane terms that are like farts in an elevator -- strangely satisfying, especially if you can make an effective getaway. Share and enjoy!

NFC East

Philadelphia: Chunky Puker

New York: She-Li

Dallas: Practicing Romosexual

Washington: Randle-Fail, NASCAR Moonlighter

NFC North

Chicago: Metrorexual

Minnesota: Girls With Curls

Green Bay: Favre Hag

Detroit: Millen Lover

NFC South

New Orleans: Floody, He Bear

Carolina: Carruthian

Atlanta: Dog Lover

Tampa Bay: Spleenie Baby

NFC West

Seattle: Jerramy Stevens

San Francisco: Styx Coast Offense

St. Louis: Martzturbator

Arizona: Cardinals Fan

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Non-Profane Insulting Nicknames for the Upcoming NFL Season: AFC Edition

In an increasingly sensitive world where strong language can get you thrown out from a bar or stadium, how do you adequately express your distaste for the other team's fans without attracting the attention of Mr. Law?

Five Tool Tool is here to help with 100% non-profane terms that are like farts in an elevator -- strangely satisfying, especially if you can make an effective getaway. Share and enjoy!

AFC East

New England: Brady Slurper (also works in Cleveland)

New York: Mangina Monologues

Miami: Culpeppery

Buffalo: Norwoodpecker

AFC North

Baltimore: Prison Lover

Pittsburgh: Duuuuccceee For Brains

Cincy: Ocho Convict

Cleveland: Art Modell

AFC South

Indianapolis: Pre-Snap Movement

Jacksonville: Taylor's Groin Puller

Tennessee: Wunderlicious

Houston: Oiler Wannabe

AFC West

San Diego: Leaf Blower

Denver: Pull My Snake

Kansas City: Giving Herman Head

Oakland: Leathers And Feathers

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Top 10 Tony Romo Nicknames

10. Yoko Romo
9. Tony So-So
8. Joe Pisarcik
7. Oh No Ro Mo
6. Tony Ro v. Snap
5. Bony Blow Mo
4. Not Enough Bro'
3. Laces Out
2. Tony No Mo
1. Tommy Hutton

Anyone who hasn't been to www.tonyhomo.com, of course, needs to. Outstanding.

Add your own in the comments, of course.