Top 12 reasons why Jerry Jones called Tony Romo's Week 1 Flameout "Outstanding"

12) Needs to say wild and crazy things to distract people from the fact that he's had one -- one! -- playoff win in the last 15 years

11) Wanted to give me a slam dunk list topic on an off-day (thanks again, Jerry!)

10) As much of the Jones Era has shown, the owner really doesn't care about winning, so much as he does about hype

9) Hasn't realized yet that the Rex Ryan Jets don't have a pass rush right now, or any past history of being good in September

8) Jerruh will pretty much say or do anything to keep his overrated team of playoff pretenders on ESPN's front page

7) If your only other option is Jon Kitna, you'd say anything to make the starter feel better, too

6) Like the rest of us, Jerry cares more about winning fantasy football than real football

5) Having the franchise's first loss after being up 14 in the fourth quarter means that Romo's making history, and that's always good

4) Believes that throwing a godawful pick to Darrelle Revis is excusable because, hey, that's Darrelle Revis, and he has mystic powers to make you stupid

3) Hasn't noticed that the Cowboys are 1-6 in Romo's last 7 starts, since that would involve remembering anything about last year

2) Doesn't think that anyone else in the NFL will be as innovative on defense as Ryan by sending extra rushers on passing downs

1) Has flat out lost his mind with the stress of his debt payments in a down economy for his Xanadu-like pleasure palace and memorial to himself